


What You Like

by everystareverywhere



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Decoy Bride, F/M, Movie crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 14:06:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1431262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everystareverywhere/pseuds/everystareverywhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathon Arbor is planning on marrying Renee Poisson, the most famous person in all of entertainment. However, because of some complications, now he’s not too sure she’s the one for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the movie Decoy Bride starring David Tennant and Kelly McDonald. It’s adorably cute, and I highly recommend it. Also, this is unbetaed, so all mistakes are my own.

Renée Poisson was the most famous person in entertainment. She had the looks, personality, and talents that made audiences literally fall over themselves to get close to her. How Jonathon Arbor was lucky enough to not only have Renée fall in love with him, but also agreed to marry him, still blew his mind. Perhaps he was just lucky in another life, or perhaps he was born under a lucky star. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to jinx it now. Renée was less than a hour away from being his wife, and he was positively beaming.  
  
The trouble, however, was actually having the wedding.   
  
Since Renée was the most famous person in entertainment, she was continually sort after by the press. And they were relentless. They followed her around since she was fifteen, documenting her life for all the whole world to see. Boyfriends, bad hair days, worst dresses, best dresses, everything that happened to her was known by every person (whether they wanted to know or not) around the world. And she was sick of it. Jonathon was exactly what she needed, what she wanted. Though he knew exactly who she was when they first met (everyone knows her), he was a perfect gentleman who didn’t expect much in form of attention from her. She liked that. And they kept meeting by accident, until finally Jonathon asked her out for a proper date.   
  
Now, though, thousands of people were waiting outside of a luxury hotel in London for a glimpse of Renée in her wedding dress, getting into her limo and driving to an unknown destination (known to Renée, unknown to everyone else) to finally have the wedding. And out she came, wearing a slimming white gown and a veil that hid her face. The people screamed and took pictures with their camera phones, the paparazzi were snapping photo after photo yelling at her to turn this way, look this way, but she ignored them all as she ran down the stairs of the luxury hotel and into the waiting limo. When that drove off, another woman come out of the hotel wearing an off-white gown, designed the same way as the woman before, with her face heavily guarded by the veil. The people who were screaming looked on confused. The paparazzi held their cameras limply, looking at one another bewildered. This woman also ran into a limo that went into another direction. Another woman ran out of the building, this time wearing a startling white gown, same design as the other two, and her face was also heavily guarded. She ran into another limo, which took off going in a new direction. Another woman ran out, her face guarded by the veil. And another woman. And another woman. And another woman.   
  
“I’m a genius!” shouted Adam Mitchell, Renée’s agent and (besides Jonathon) closest friend. “All these women running out in wedding dresses, going to all different locations, and the paparazzi are all in a tizzy. I deserve all the awards!”   
  
Astrid, his personal assistant, looked up at him amazed. “You really are a genius. And Renée is already at the church?”   
  
“Yep,” Adam said, walking towards the windows of the hotel. He looked at his watch. “We better go now. We want to be there, at the correct church!”   
  
Adam took off, already walking towards to the doors when he turned back, “By the way, do you know what happened to Harry Saxon?”   
  
If the paparazzi were like birds, Saxon would be the vulture. He hunted his prey with frightening precision. And his new obsession is Renée. He has been after her for many years, but now has become unbearable, following her around ever since she got engaged to Jonathon. Renée, for very good reasons, hated him.   
  
“Our intelligence tells us he’s skiing,” Astrid said, flipping her curly blonde hair and following Adam out of the room.   
  
“Skiing?” Adam was shocked, but shrugged. Stranger things have happened.   
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon pulled at his bowtie. Renée wanted to have a small, but fancy wedding, so everyone was dressed impeccably. Jonathon himself was wearing a black tuxedo with fancy Italian shoes. He wanted to wear converses, but Renée laughed, saying he was so funny. He wasn’t really joking; those were a hell of a lot more comfortable than these shoes.   
  
But he really didn’t care that he couldn’t wear the shoes he wanted. Renée was marrying him! All last night he pinched himself, trying to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He had the bruise marks on his arm to prove that this was reality. He couldn’t believe that someone like him, someone tall and lanky with brown hair that at times seemed to defy gravity and freckles dusted across his upper cheeks and nose, was actually marrying Renée!   
  
He ran a hand through his brown hair, and then immediately cursed under his breath. Renée didn’t like it when he did that; she told him that he messed up his hair and made it all spiky. She thought he looked better when his hair was gelled down. He took a few deep breaths when the music changed.  
  
Everyone looked to the back of the church where the doors opened and there stood Renée on the arm of her father. Her dress was form fitting, not as tight as the fake brides from before. It was off-the-shoulder and was slim until it hit her waist, there it opened up and looked more like a princess dress. Her veil was not in front of her face, but rather already pulled back. Her smile, though, made Jonathon’s heart flutter. He was positive that he had never seen a more beautiful bride in his life.   
  
She walked down slowly, her father smiling, though it didn’t reach his eyes. Though Jonathon was a good man, her father wasn’t thrilled about his only daughter marrying a man who was famous for writing one book. A book that people liked, but it was most certainly not  _Harry Potter_. He made some money off of it, but sales went through the roof when it came out that his book,  _Quick Reponses_ , was a favorite of Renée Poisson. She absolutely loved the book; adored it really. Her favorite hobby was to quote from it, which more often than not made Jonathon cringed. Not because he was embarrassed, but because of the writing. She always managed to quote lines that were horrible. He tried not to think about the fact that by this point in their relationship, she has quoted almost the entire book.   
  
Her father let go of Renée, and she smiled as she walked closer to Jonathon. However, she kept walking, going right past him as he muttered a confused, “Hello?” and continued on until she was standing in front of the organ. She pulled the bottom out and screamed with anger as Harry Saxon rolled out along with a couple bottles of yellow soda and his camera.   
  
“You!” she yelled, her beautiful face growing red with anger.  
  
“I’m the wedding photographer!” Saxon said as he climbed to his feet. He held up his camera. “Can I have all the tall people in the back?”   
  
“Get out!” Renée screamed as Jonathon walked closer to them saying, “Okay, bunko, the jig is up. Let’s go.”  
  
Renée looked down at her feet. There were three bottles of soda filled with a yellow drink and two empty bottles. “How long have you been in there? Wait, that’s not soda, is it?” Her French accent was getting less and less seductive and more enraged.   
  
The guests exclaimed different forms of disgust as Renée grabbed a nearby candlestick. “I have had it with you!” she yelled. Saxon, wisely, started running. Unwisely, he was still taking pictures of her. “I am going to kill you!”   
  
Renée ran after Saxon cursing at him in French, Jonathon right behind her. Saxon ran down the stairs and went to the nearest vehicle, which was a Vespa. “You are nothing special,” Saxon said as he flung his camera sting around his next. He took another picture of her running towards him. “It’s just another paycheck for me, Sweetcheeks.” With that, he started the engine and drove off into the crowded streets.   
  
“When I do get married,” Renée yelled to his retreating back, “you won’t even know what continent I am on!”   
  
~*~  
  
A short time later, Cliff Copper, the editor of  _Stars Now_  magazine opened up his inbox and saw an email from Harry Saxon. The email contained photos of Renée Poisson walking down the aisle, smiling to her husband-to-be, and others were of her screaming, her beautiful face enraged. Photos that were not often seen, since she was always the portrait of calm and composure.   
  
“Oh, Saxon, you magnificent bastard!” Copper yelled with triumph.  
  
~*~  
  
Renée and Jonathon sat on a pew in the back of the church. Renée had calmed down from her rampage and Jonathon would routinely rub her arm, and was trying to make suggestions on where to get married. However, his suggestion of getting married in outer space was not received with the laughter he would have liked. “Or,” he said, trying to get something out of her, “we could get married on the lost island of Atlantis.” That was met with a glare. He snapped his mouth shut.   
  
Adam and Astrid were standing ten feet away from them, leaning on the wall. They arrived right before Renée walked down the aisle, so they knew exactly what had happened. Adam was fuming; he was so angry at not only Saxon, but also Astrid for not double checking the church for Saxon. They knew what they were up against with him; they should have been prepared.   
  
“Outer space?” Astrid whispered to Adam when she heard Jonathon’s suggestion. “I don’t think you can yet.”   
  
“Is that what your intelligence tells you?” he snapped back. She remained silent.   
  
Renée leaned her head against Jonathon’s shoulder. “I just want to marry you,” she said softly.   
  
He leaned his head against hers. “I know. I want to marry you too.” He rubbed her arm again. “We’ll think of something.”   
  
She closed her eyes and imagined that she was somewhere else. Or maybe that she was someone else, like Donna Noble, her favorite character from her favorite book,  _Quick Responses_. Donna would know exactly how to handle Saxon. Perhaps she would even know how to destroy Saxon’s career. But that probably wouldn’t have happened in the smallest island of England, Burrow.   
  
Her eyes popped open.   
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in reality, Rose Tyler stood on a beach and looked out at the ocean. Honestly, this day couldn’t really get any worse if it tried. Not only was she back home, a place she really didn’t want to be, she was back home without a husband. Or any man, actually. She looked down at her engagement ring, starred at the simple diamond that stood up against a silver band. She took it off and threw it as hard as she could into the water. “Good riddance,” she muttered before grabbing her suitcase and walking towards her house.   
  
Rose and her mother have lived in the same house on the same island for Rose’s entire life. Her parents moved here a year before she was born, because her father was convinced that Burrow would be the perfect place to raise a family. Unfortunately, when Rose was two-years-old, her father drowned during a terrible thunderstorm. And though the Tylers had just enough to live on when Pete was alive, with him now gone, Rose and her mum barely made it each month. And Rose’s mother, Jackie, was determined to get off the island, especially since she found out she was dying. She had breast cancer, and though she has been on remission for three years, the cancer came back kicking. This time, the only doctor on the island confirmed, it will definitely take her life. She probably has less than a year. Jackie was determined to leave this place and see the world with her daughter at her side.   
  
Before Jackie found out that she was dying for sure this time, however, Rose finally got off the island with her boyfriend Jimmy. Unfortunately, Rose didn’t know that Jimmy had other ideas for when they reached the city, and Rose was not in them. Rose was only gone for a year, and for her it wasn’t long enough. And now she had to show her face in the town she was so determined to leave behind. How embarrassing.   
  
And though she and her mother wanted so desperately off the island, it actually wasn’t a bad place to live. The view was gorgeous no matter where you stood on the land and the people were extremely nice. Yes, there was not a big population. There were about seventy-five people who were about…seventy-five years old. And all of them were married. “Except one,” Rose said under her breath. She carried her bag up the stairs to the small house where her mother and she lived and that was right next door to the bookshop/grocery store that sold everything you would need on the island, which was also owned by her mother.   
  
She opened the door to the house and her mother stood just inside the living room putting on her coat. “Rose!” she said with joy. Then her face fell. “What happened?”   
  
“Nothing,” Rose said, trying to stay happy.   
  
It didn’t work though. Her mother could always tell when Rose was lying, and right now Jackie could see it a mile away. “What’s wrong?”   
  
“Nothing. I’m fine.”   
  
“Nothing happened?”   
  
“Nope. I’m fine.” The fake smile on Rose’s face broke and she started crying. Her mother ran over to her and held her tightly.   
  
“That’s good, honey, as long as everything’s fine.”   
  
After a moment, though Jackie said, “I hope you’re in the mood for a wedding.”   
  
To put it mildly, Rose was not. But she still decided to go, because it was better than sitting around the house moping. Rose and Jackie walked to the wedding, seeing how everything on the island was within walking distance and there were only five cars on the entire island, none of which were owned by the Tylers.   
  
Rose told her mother about what happened to Jimmy. “I give up,” Rose said, holding her arms close to her. “I give up with men.”   
  
“There’s someone out there for you,” Jackie said, opening an umbrella as the first few drops fell onto her head. “Someone kind and sensitive. But you’re not going to meet him if you don’t get off this island!”   
  
“Good! I don’t want to meet him!” Rose exclaimed as she put up her hood. “He sounds like a git! Besides, I’m like kryptonite to men. Kryptonite dipped in cellulite.”   
  
Her mother scoffed as they continued on. Just as they reached the church, it started pouring. They ran in and Rose was shaking the water off of her coat when an elderly woman named Minnie came up to her. “Rose, what are you doing here?!” Before Rose could answer, Minnie continued on with, “I hope you’re not here to break up the wedding! You had your chance with the young Smith!”   
  
“No, Minnie, I’m not–” But Minnie had obviously heard enough since she pushed Rose into the church. Most of the guests had arrived and turned to look at her as she collected herself. The organist started playing the Wedding March and Mickey himself turned around. He was a young man, just about two years older than Rose. His dark skin and open personality made him a handsome and wonderful man, but not the right one for Rose. She had dumped him rather unceremoniously last year, right before she left with Jimmy. Not her finest moment.   
  
Someone bumped into Rose and she turned to see Martha Jones, someone Rose knew from school. She was a lovely girl, absolutely brilliant, and right now she was dressed all in white (which was beautiful against her dark skin) and looked angry. “You had your chance, Rose Tyler,” she muttered. “Mickey’s mine now.”  
  
Rose moved over a bit and sat down on the hard pew. She could not wait until this was over, so she could go home and mope there. Unfortunately for her, Jackie had other plans.   
  
“You might as well see everyone now,” she said, taking Rose by the arm and pulling her towards the reception. “Might as well get it over with.”   
  
It was horribly embarrassing to Rose, having to answer all the questions that she really didn’t want to answer. “Why did you return?” “How’s our Jimmy doing?” “Did you get the job you wanted?” “No ring? What happened?” The gossipy old women practically pushed each other out of the way trying to get an answer from Rose, the prodigal daughter returned. All Rose wanted to do was crawl into bed and emerge only to get food and go to the bathroom. Otherwise, she just wanted to curl up and die. Especially when the groom, Mickey Smith, came walking over.   
  
“Rose,” he said giving her a kiss on the cheek. “I didn’t think you would come.”   
  
Rose blushed, knowing she had to answer him, even though she didn’t really want to. Mickey was her oldest friend, and though they did have a thing a while back, Rose really didn’t want to get into that. Or discuss the fact that the last time they spoke to each other, Rose told him that under no circumstance would she step foot on this island again.   
  
“I had to come,” Rose said, faking a smile. “My best mate getting married! How could I miss it?”   
  
“Now, Rose,” Minnie said, making a beeline for them. For an eighty-year-old woman, she moved fast. “Don’t you go making a pass at our young Mickey here! You had your chance with him, and you blew it for that dumbo Jimmy!”   
  
Rose groaned. Honestly could this get any worse? “Minnie, I’m not making a pass at Mickey. He’s just my oldest friend. I’m wishing him the best of luck.” She turned to him. “I am. I hope you and Martha are happy together. You deserve each other.”   
  
Before Mickey could open his mouth, Wilf Mott came over. Wilf was an older gentleman, about seventy or so. He had white hair and was just a tad taller than Rose. She often thought of him like a grandfather, and loved him as one. To see him was comforting indeed.   
  
“Wilf!” Rose said, joyfully. She wrapped her arms around him. “How are you?”   
  
“I’m fine,” he answered. He looked at Mickey and Minnie. “Mind if I steal her away for a mo?”   
  
“Remember the rule of Burrow!” Minnie said as they turned away. “You must dance with all the women, Wilf, oldest to youngest.”   
  
He waved his hand at her, and sighed. “I hate that rule. That means I should be able to dance with you at four o’clock in the morning.” After they walked a couple of feet, they stopped and Wilf looked at her. “Quite the entrance you made.” He said with a smile. He was referring to her entrance into the church earlier.   
  
Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, thanks,” she said sarcastically. “As if this day couldn’t get even more humiliating.”   
  
“What happened to your fancy job in London?”   
  
She shrugged. “I ran out of ways to describe pockets.”   
  
“And Jimmy?” Rose didn’t answer. Wilf sighed. “Oh, Rose, you always had terrible taste in men.”   
  
“I know. That’s why I’m going man-vegan. They say after the first six years, you don’t even miss them anymore.”   
  
Wilf laughed. “Well, you most certainly came to the right place. There are no more single men in Burrow. Except for me, of course.”   
  
Rose laughed lightly and kissed him on the cheek. “You are lovely, Wilf. But perhaps you might want someone slightly older than me, yeah? And perhaps someone with a better track record.”   
  
“I don’t think I could get anyone as good as you, Rosie.” Wilf patted her on the back when Lynda Moss came over and asked Wilf to dance. Being ninety-four, Lynda was the oldest woman in Burrow.   
  
“See you at four o’clock,” Wilf whispered as he escorted Lynda away.   
  
Rose stood alone for a second before Mickey walked back over to her. “Why did you come back? Honestly.”   
  
She shrugged. “I don’t know, Mickey.”   
  
“And how long are you staying?”   
  
Again, she shrugged. “A while? Forever? I don’t know.”   
  
“You told me that you would never return.” Mickey’s voice was getting slightly higher. It was obvious that he wasn’t over his feelings towards her. “You told me that you couldn’t have the normal and the dull. That nothing ever happens around here.”   
  
“Maybe what I need right now is nothing happening.” And with that, she walked away.   
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, Rose opened her mother’s shop. She looked around. More than half the store was groceries and the little space left held books. Not many books, only the most famous ones like Shakespeare’s works and Dickson’s and Harry Potter. And of course, Quick Responses, which was set on the island itself. However, even though everybody owned a copy (whether they want to admit it or not), there was still a huge stack. The book itself was just bloody huge. Rose was pretty sure she could knock someone out with it. Over 800 pages and not a damn thing in it is correct. Or interesting.   
  
Bored, Rose made a spiral tower out of the books until Wilf walked in with a stack of paper and a typewriter. “I thought of something you could do!” He set the stuff down on the counter, took off the hat he was wearing, and put a piece of paper in the machine. “Burrow: An Island History by Rose Tyler.”   
  
“A guidebook? To here?” Rose gestured around her. “What could you possibly put into the book? ‘Come see our disused toilets that may or may not be haunted by the ghost of a dead cow’!?”   
  
Wilf laughed. “See, that’s the kind of energy the book needs! You need to write this before you go off again!”   
  
Before Rose said another word, two elderly women, Melody Pond and Joan Redforn walked in. They were carrying a thin box with rocks in it. They painted faces on the rocks, and on some were hair. Rose cringed.   
  
“Have you heard?!” Melody asked, shoving a piece of paper under Rose’s nose. “A marketing conference is coming here! To Burrow!”   
  
“They must know what a lovely island this is,” Joan said. Rose tried very hard not to snort.   
  
“They want my castle,” Wilf exclaimed, smiling. “Just the way it is!”   
  
Though Rose didn’t say it, she wondered why on Earth anyone would want that castle. It was old, decrepit, and hasn’t been of any use in years. Decades, really. “Good luck to them,” she muttered.   
  
“Now, Rose,” Joan said, looking at the younger woman straight in the eyes. “Though you may want to, you can’t throw yourself at any of the marketing men. We don’t want them to make assumptions about the women in this town.”   
  
Rose could only open and close her mouth, that’s how speechless she was. As though she would throw herself at the first man she laid eyes on. Rose Tyler had better things to do.   
  
Like, visiting her mother during her lunch break. Her mum was sitting outside, reading a gossip magazine. Rose had begged her time and time again not to read that trash, but Jackie felt it was the only way she could stay in touch with reality, no matter how crappy it all was. Rose stopped fighting her.   
  
“You should put a coat on,” Rose observed.   
  
“I like the cold. Besides I’m dying either way.” She looked up at Rose. “Anything new?”   
  
Rose sat down. “Marketing conference is coming.”   
  
Jackie made a noise through her nose. “I’m sure that got all the gossips whispering today.”   
  
“Joan Redforn told me not to throw myself at the marketing men. She doesn’t want them thinking negatively of the women here.”   
  
“After any amount of time spent on this island, the men here would not think twice of you throwing yourself at them. And like she’s one to talk. I’ll bet you anything she’ll be right at the dock with those damn rocks, trying to make a couple of bucks.”   
  
Just then a car pulled up in front of their porch. The back window rolled down and a handsome young man and woman sat on the back seat.   
  
“We’re looking for the castle,” the man said. He had a stern face and slicked brown hair. His suit was probably worth more than the house they were parked in front of.   
  
The woman next to him, a young blonde whose suit was better than anything Rose owned, piped up. “We’re marketing people.”   
  
“I could show you,” Jackie responded, “for a tenner.”   
  
“Mum!” Rose said, embarrassed. She turned back to the people. “I’ll take you.”   
  
Ten minutes later, they pulled up in front of Wilf’s castle. It was beautiful, Rose thought, if it had some work done. Okay, a lot of work done. A new roof for instance, and flooring, windows, doors…well, if everything was redone, it would look breathtaking. The man and woman got out of the car, mouths hanging open. Rose was positive that they weren’t taken away by the beautiful splendor. Quite the contrary, really.   
  
“Do you like it?” Rose asked with a small smile.   
  
The woman bit her lip before nodding weakly. The man said “It’s…spectacular” as though he was just told he was going to have all his teeth removed without Novocain. They walked dumbly to the moss covered building.   
  
“And that’s the last any of us saw of the marketing people,” Rose muttered as she leaned against the car.   
  
~*~  
  
Inside the castle, Adam and Astrid were walking around, making sure that they didn’t walk into any spider webs. Easier said than done. The room was filled with dust and spider webs, and Astrid was pretty sure there was a dead hedgehog in the corner. All of the furniture was overturned and there was a banner still half up in the air that welcomed the year 1985.   
  
Adam pulled out the book,  _Quick Responses_ , and read from it. “‘The gilt work glistened proudly. Time had in no way diminished the splendors of the castle.’” He lowered the book and looked around. “What in God’s name was he talking about?”   
  
“She’s not going to blame you. She’s a reasonable woman,” Astrid said, referring to Renée. She was trying to reassure Adam.   
  
It didn’t work.   
  
Adam listed off a bunch of things they were going to need, which included a large crew of builders, about thirty thousand pounds, a main phone line, and a cappuccino.   
  
When he was done with this place, it was going to look like it came out of a book.   
  
Literally.


	2. Chapter 2

Renée and Jonathon were walking along the beach, arm in arm. They just got off the boat and Jonathon looked around impressed. “Well, I have no idea where we are, but it’s perfect!”   
  
Renée turned to him, seriously. “‘The sea turns and shakes it manacles of salt at the sharp rocks in which too many waves have died,’” she quoted.   
  
“Oh good Lord, who wrote that?” Jonathon asked. “That’s horrible!”   
  
She laughed. “It is from my favorite book!  _Quick Responses_.” She nuzzled into his shoulder.   
  
He cringed. Oh, Lord, that was actually him? No wonder the book never took off. “Oh,” was all he said, however.   
  
“My husband is going to be the best writer of the twenty-first century,” Renée proclaimed as though she was flown into the future and was quite certain of this.  
  
All Jonathon could do was give a weak smile and changed the subject. He always got nervous when she discussed his future. “So, where exactly are we?”   
  
She laughed again. “You know where we are!” she said as they started walking again.   
  
Jonathon looked around. “Do I?” he asked weakly.   
  
~*~  
  
Jackie was reading another gossip magazine, and this one was talking about the disastrous wedding of Renée Poisson and Jonathon Arbor. Or rather, the lack of one. But what caught her eye was not Renée’s dress or even the look of outrage on her face as she ran out of church holding a candlestick. It was the picture taken at another time of Renée with a man who looked awfully familiar. She saw this man, the one with brown hair slicked back and a stern face. He told her he was with marketing. However, under the photo of him and Renée, however, it said, ‘Above: Renée Poisson and her agent, Adam Mitchell’   
  
Agent? Then maybe this wasn’t a marketing conference. The wheels in Jackie’s mind were turning. Maybe the wedding was taking place here.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose was walking to the shop, after just visiting Wilf’s house. She hadn’t seen him yesterday after she got back with the marketing people, and she had been dying to tell him what they thought of his castle. He almost fell over his chair laughing so hard, wishing he had seen their reaction.   
  
Rose, lost in thought, didn’t see the two cars that were coming towards her until the one honked politely. She jumped out of the way and then proceed to get drenched from her knees down, thanks to the big puddle that they both drove through.   
  
She waved sarcastically to the back of the vehicles. “Thanks!”  
  
However, she didn’t know that in those cars were not only the two people she   
met yesterday, but also Renée Poisson, Jonathon Arbor, and two beauticians who followed Renée wherever she went.   
  
They were on their way to the castle.   
  
When they pulled up, Renée jumped out and gasped. “Oh, it’s just how you described it!”   
  
Jonathon got out and looked around. “We’re in Burrow?” he asked, realization finally dawning on him. He wasn’t expecting that, not by a long shot. It made sense, he thought, since this place was pretty much deserted (based on his research), but still a surprising turn of events.   
  
Adam came around and patted Jonathon hard on the shoulder. “Don’t you remember it from all of your research trips here?”   
  
Jonathon cringed. Oops. He looked down at Adam, who was looking smug. Jonathon could only give a weak nod and say, “Oh, yes, I remember.”   
  
“Why did we not we think of this before?!” she said, looking around. “It is perfect!” She turned to Jonathon and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward. “I am sorry that we cannot have family and friends, but this is just perfect, no?”   
  
Jonathon nodded, more sure of the answer to that question than anything else right now. “Yes. Totally.”   
  
“It is very us, yes? Now, let us go in and see the Hall of a Million Feathers.”  
  
She took Jonathon’s hand, but he turned back to Adam and asked weakly, “Should we?”   
  
“Oh yes,” Adam said, more smug than before. “You most certainly should. It’s quite something.”   
  
Jonathon gave a weak smile. He had a suspicion that Adam knew his dirty little secret.   
  
~*~  
Unbeknown to everyone on the island, someone was currently pulling a little boat onto the shore. This person had traveled a long distance in the middle of frickin’ nowhere to get the damn picture of Renée in her wedding dress marrying the writer who was no better than that Twilight writer.   
  
Not that it mattered, though. Harry Saxon was going to get that picture, no matter what.   
  
~*~  
Jonathon looked around his bedroom. It was nice, he thought, lightly brushing his fingertips over the top of the fireplace mantle. A little overboard on the decorations on the wall, but still nice.   
  
Someone knocked on the door and before Jonathon could say a word, Adam entered. “Do you like your room?” he asked, the same smug look on his face as before. “We had forty master craftsman working all night on it. One of them was about eighty!”   
  
Jonathon knew what this was in reference to. He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Why didn’t you tell her I made it all up?”   
  
“When Renée wants a castle, I give her Cinder-freakin-ella’s castle!” He gestured angrily to the room, but he was talking about the island in general. “This is your first time on Burrow, isn’t it? You googled the entire book!”   
  
Jonathon shrugged, trying to pass it off as though it meant nothing, but if Adam’s reaction was anything to go by, perhaps it meant a great deal. “You’re the first person to have a problem with that.”   
  
He looked around the room, and deciding that he had enough for now, he grabbed a copy his book and headed towards the door. “I’m going to get some fresh air.”   
  
Adam stepped in front of him and said seriously, “Only seven people in the world know we are here for the wedding. Everyone else thinks it’s for a marketing conference. So, keep your head down and wear a hat, Tolstoy!”   
  
Jonathon nodded and walked around him, lightly rolling his eyes. But he did grab a hat on his out the door.   
  
~*~  
Rose was walking along, thinking of all the things she could put into her book. She looked around at the sky as she pulled out her handheld recorder and said, “The people on the island believe that if you don’t like the weather, wait twenty minutes and maybe you will.” Just as she finished huge droplets of rain came out of the sky. Rose shrieked as she put up her hood and ran towards the public toilets that haven’t been used since God knows when.   
  
Rose walked further into the one room, before lifting the recorder again and saying, “Chapter two, Burrow’s hot spots. The people on the island are proud of this aging public amenity. The ornate urinals are enameled in rich blue while the cubicles —” she opened one up and looked down into the loo. There were sticks, spider webs, and a huge thin spider all inside of it. She gulped as she continued, “–are genuinely frightening.”   
  
Suddenly, Rose heard footsteps coming from outside. Someone was running, and most likely, they were running right towards the public restroom. For reasons unknown to her, Rose closed the door to the stall she was in and ducked down. A person did enter, breathing deeply. She took a peek over the top of the door and a man standing there with his back to her, but it was the hat she recognized. “Wilf,” she whispered to herself.   
  
When Rose turned around and saw a pipe coming out of the wall, a wicked smile came across her face. She tiptoed over to it, put her mouth close to it (not onto it, God no, that would be bloody disgusting), and said, “Mooooo!”   
  
“Hello?” answered the man who was most definitely not Wilf. In fact, he sounded quite young. Well, younger than most of the men on this island, that is. He was definitely around her age, many older. “Pretty sure that’s not a real cow. Unless it’s got a hold of a kazoo.”   
  
Peeking over the edge of the door again, Rose saw the man. He was tall and thin with a thin face and a pointy nose. He also looked very confused. Rose sighed. Of course it would be a handsome young man, and not anyone she knew. Probably here for the marketing conference. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Might as well get this humiliation over with.   
  
“Sorry,” she said, stepping out. “A friend of mine has that exact hat.”   
  
The man was shocked to see Rose exit the stall. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say.  _'Maybe he was taken away by my beauty'_ , Rose thought.   
  
 _'Ha!'_    
  
“Oh, no, no, no,” the man replied, still looking stunned. “I’m sorry to barge in on you, Mrs…”   
  
“Not Mrs,” Rose replied hastily, blushing.  
  
“Of course not,” he said, still stammering. He looked her over for a moment before saying “No” again. Rose blushed again, thinking how charming she must look in her rain boots, jeans, and long raincoat that was bright yellow. Just like a vision from a fairy tale, she was sure.   
  
Rose gestured lamely to the stall. “I was just pretending to be the ghost of a dead cow. Which sounds completely mad, doesn’t it?”   
  
“Not at all,” he said kindly. Rose couldn’t help but admire him a bit. She was sure acting like an idiot, but the man was too nice to point that out. A gentleman, he was. Who knew they still existed? “I’m sorry, but from the outside your house looks like it was open to the public…”   
  
Okay, maybe she wasn’t the idiot here. Maybe he was. A gentleman, sure, but perhaps the lift didn’t go all the way to the top with this one. She looked around the disgusting bathroom and asked, “My home?”   
  
He looked around also. “You don’t…live here?”   
  
“Not in this toilet, no. Here we live in modern dwellings called houses.” Okay, she was being sarcastic, but he deserved it. Did this really look like a house to him? Good Lord, whatever they were feeding these marketing people, they need to stop.   
  
“Please forgive me,” the man said, stepping a bit closer. “I’ve spent a lot of time with…hermits.”   
  
Rose raised an eyebrow. “You know, for someone in marketing, you’re not very good with lying.”   
  
“I’m still very much junior,” he replied with a grin. He took off his hat and Rose could see his brown hair fluff up a bit. It looked incredibly soft and Rose had a desire to run her fingers through it. She immediately squashed that little bug though. Joan’s words were floating in her head, “Now Rose, though you may want to, you can’t throw yourself at any of the marketing men. We don’t want them to make assumptions about the women in this town.” Not that she was even considering throwing herself at this man, no matter how handsome he was. Besides, she was going man-vegan, and that started today. Right now.   
With that thought in mind, Rose held out her hand. “Rose,” she introduced.   
  
He grabbed her hand with a smile. “I’m Jo — James. James. James Smith.” He sounded so unsure, as though he momentarily forgot his name.  _This was a genius_ , Rose thought sarcastically.  _Could forget his name at the drop of a hat._  
  
“James?” she asked, making sure.   
  
He nodded. He held up a book against his chest and grinned as he said, “And I’m really quite lost.”   
  
“No wonder,” she said when she noticed what he held. She pointed to it. “That book isn’t right about anything.”   
  
The grin fell from his face. If she didn’t know any better, she would have sworn he looked crestfallen.   
  
She glanced over at the window and even though it was filthy, she could see light gleaming in.   
  
“The rain has stopped,” she pointed out. “Perhaps I could help you get to…wherever you’re going.”   
  
“Yes,” he nodded. “That would be great. Thank you.”   
  
When they walked outside, she pulled the hood down from her head. She noticed James giving her a second glance, but ignored it. ‘Man-vegan,’ she thought.   
  
She lead the way, going left. Since he was with the marketing people, he had to be staying at the castle. She was about to make small talk when he said,   
“You haven’t read the book. No one has. Not all the way through.”   
  
“That’s the only book written about Burrow. Anyone who can read has read it. The Burrow Book Club gave it four out of ten stars.”   
  
“Four out of ten?!” he asked, shocked. She looked up at him, trying to cage his reaction, but the sun was in her eyes, so she wasn’t sure. Plus, he was very tall. She came up to just about his shoulder.   
  
“They thought it picked up around page 600.”   
  
James tried to defend the book by saying, “Well, I think the architecture of the book was probably deliberate.” However, with the next breath he said, “Wow! Four out of ten! The Burrow Book Club are a tough crowd.”   
  
“Oh and the love story?” she scoffed. “Soulless!”   
  
“Soulless?”   
  
“I didn’t buy it!” Rose said. “Not for a second! Maybe his next book will be better. Is it out yet?”   
  
“No,” he said with a quick shake of his head.   
  
“God, it’s been ages. Either he’s very blocked or it’s longer than that one! Can you image?” She gave a little laugh thinking about it. That book would knock out a wrestler, it was so big. James, however, didn’t think it was that amusing, but still gave a small chuckle. Rose held out her hands, as though ready to take the book. “Want me to carry it for you?”   
  
James just glared at her.   
  
“To be fair though he had to make it up. You could summarize Burrow in a pamphlet. You know, one where there isn’t a lot of writing and a load of pictures. And was about five pages.”   
  
“Okay, I know where I am now,” he said, cutting her off.   
  
Rose looked up at him. He was beautiful. He wasn’t drop dead gorgeous, but he was handsome. Rose could make out the dusting of freckles he had over his nose and upper cheeks.  _'What the hell?'_ she thought.  _'You only live once.'_  
  
“Look, you’re here to work, obviously. But if you ever fancy a coffee or you need something, I live right next to that shop right over there. With my mum.” She wasn’t sure why she added that last bit, but in for a penny… “Just, you’ll find me around. Also, I’m a whole lot hotter than I look.”   
  
She mentally cringed. Oh, that was bad.   
  
James, though, had the decency not to give any facial reaction. Okay, he looked confused, but considering what she just said, that was fine. “We’ve got…so much marketing to do.”   
  
Right, of course. Why would a handsome bloke like him go for an ordinary shop girl from an island no one has ever heard of? Rose just had to shake this one off and move on. Because that’s what she did. She just kept moving forward, no matter how much she wanted to curl up in her bed and die.   
  
“Okay. That wasn’t…I mean, I wasn’t…I’ve gone man-vegan anyway. Sorry. Bye!” With that she gave him a mock salute — salute?! — and walked away.   
When was she ever going to learn that men and her do not mix?  
  
~*~  
  
Jackie was sitting in the shop, twirling a pen around in her hand. There was no one in the shop, but that was hardly surprising. The shop was never overly busy. Busy usually means three people. Having no one in the shop was nothing new.   
  
A man did enter, though, looking perplexed and really tired. “Oh, for the love of God, please help me.” The man was about medium height with blonde hair and brown eyes. He was thin, and the jeans and t-shirt he had on made him look like he was twenty, though his face looked closer to thirty. He had a suitcase with him and a bag that was looked an awful lot like a camera bag. “I have been searching for a Bed and Breakfast on this godforsakening island and I have no bloody idea where it could possibly be. Can you help me?”   
  
Jackie put her pen down, stood up slowly (because she wanted to look menacing, not because she was in pain), and leaned her hands on the counter. “Don’t you ever,” she started saying slowly and quietly, “come into my shop and curse at me while trying to ask for a favor. Where are your manners?”   
  
The man bit down on his tongue and took a breath. After a moment he said, “Sorry. Can you help me? Please?”   
  
Jackie pointed east. “Two miles, that way. It’s called the Sunshine B and B.”   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
The man turned around and started towards the door but stopped when Jackie asked, “What’s with the camera?”   
  
The man turned around and patted the bag. He grinned as he said, “Oh, this old thing? I love taking nature shots. I came to admire your rare birds that I have heard so much about.”  
  
“We don’t have any rare birds. We have hedgehogs,” Jackie said with no emotion.   
  
That didn’t seem to bother the man though. “Then I’ll take pictures of the hedgehogs.” With that, he walked out the door.   
  
Jackie watched him walk away through the windows. “Oh, you’ll not be having my story,” she muttered to herself. She leaned over and picked up the land phone. The money she would get from selling the story could finally get her off this island.   
  
~*~  
  
“I have just made the biggest twat out of myself!” Rose yelled as she walked into the shop.   
  
Her mother was just hanging up the phone as she said, “Oh? What now?”   
Rose walked over to the counter and leaned her elbows against it. “I just met a man in the toilets, and I might have flirted with him.”   
  
“You might have flirted with him?” Jackie asked with a smile. Then she frowned. “Why were you flirting with him in the toilets?”   
  
“Long story.” She leaned back on the counter and groaned. “I give up, Mum. I give up completely. I am never going to make it with a man.”   
  
Jackie sat quietly for a moment before saying, “A man was just in here. I think he’s a reporter.”   
  
Rose looked at her over her shoulder. “Have you been taking your medicine properly?”   
  
~*~  
  
A short time later, Jonathon sat at his typewriter, looking at the one sentence he had written. It was crap. The whole storyline was crap. He was crap. Rose was right, he was completely blocked. He had no idea what to say and he didn’t know what he could possibly even write about.   
  
That woman, though, that Rose sure shook him up in a way he hadn’t been in a while. Seeing her popping out of the stall nearing gave him a heart attack, mainly because he wasn’t expecting anyone to be there. And suddenly there was an attractive woman smiling at him with these huge brown eyes and for some strange reason he felt his heart racing. It had to be because she had frightened him, since he didn’t want to think that there could be another reason for it. Because there wasn’t. His body and soul and heart were for Renée, only for Renée. He didn’t even look at other women.   
  
Well, not that he was looking at Rose, it’s just, she’d caught him off guard. And she seemed to be able to see through him, which unnerved him a bit. Within their entire relationship, which was only ten minutes old, she knew that he was blocked, knew that he was terrible at lying, and knew that the book was utter rubbish. Well, everyone knew that last one–except Renée. She was the only one who thought it was wonderfully done.   
  
Jonathon gave up on writing and walked over to his bed. He laid down on his stomach, hoping that inspiration would come to him. The only thing he could imagine though, was a blond woman and a ghost of a cow.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose was on fire. Not literally, but still. She was sitting at a typewriter, finishing up her guidebook. She added the last sentence, the words “The End” and pulled out the piece of paper to add to the others.   
  
She patted it lovingly, happy that she finished her little project. Her mind, however, could not stay focused on that, and rather skipped back to what had happened earlier that day.   
  
“‘I’m a whole lot hotter than I look,’” she restated.   
  
She groaned.   
  
She most certainly was a twat.   
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon must have dozed off for a few minutes because the sound of knocking almost made him jump out of his bed.   
  
“Yeah?” he said, somewhat drowsy. When no one answered his call, he got up and walked to the door. He opened it to see that there was no one there. Poking his head out, he saw no one. Then he looked down. There were rose petals leaning away from the door and towards the nearest staircase.   
Perplexed, he closed his door and walked towards the stairs. When the petals continued going up, so did he.   
  
When he reached the top, he poked his head around a corner and saw Renée standing at the end surrounded by roses and candlelight. She was wearing a long, pale colored nightgown that made her skin practically shine. He gave a huge smile and walked towards her.   
  
“Are you sure that it’s terribly unlucky to make love the night before the wedding?” he asked with a smile.   
  
She returned his smile and said, “I hate it when you beg for sex.”   
  
“You are staggering beautiful,” he said when he reached her.  
  
He leaned down and kissed her passionately. She returned the kiss until she pulled back and said seriously, as though quoting Shakespeare, “Starve me of yourself. Turn me concave, with caverns of longingness.”   
  
And like music in a movie suddenly coming to a halt, Jonathon leaned back and asked disgustingly, “Oh, God, did I write that? Longingness? That’s not even a word.”   
  
Renée looked disappointed as she said, “No, that was me. Saying what I was thinking.”   
  
“Oh.” Embarrassed, Jonathon looked away. He had no idea how to respond to that. He just insulted her way of thinking. He looked around, hoping something would come to mind. There should be a sign that he carries stating ‘I often insert my foot into my mouth. You have been warned.’   
  
“It’s finally gotten dark” was what finally popped out of his mouth after a long awkward pause.   
  
Sometimes, he really did wonder what Renée saw in him.   
  
~*~  
  
With her wedding only hours away, Renée didn’t have much to do since Adam and Astrid had taken care of everything. So, she decided to go on a run and Astrid insisted that she go with her, as some kind of protection. Renée didn’t think she needed protection on an island like this, but far be it from her to stop someone from taking good care of their body.   
  
“Visualize the cellulite melting away!” Renée called over her shoulder. She was a good twenty feet in front of Astrid, who was wheezing behind her. “You are doing great, Astrid!” Renée yelled as she rounded a corner on a small hill. She looked around the area and decided to stretch while she waited for Astrid to catch up. That’s when she saw it. Or rather, him.   
  
Saxon was walking around the church Renée and Jonathon were planned to get married in. Renée took out a small pair of binoculars she had on her, to make sure that it really was him.   
  
It was.   
  
Renée didn’t want Saxon to see her. Unconsciously she dropped the binoculars and started running further up the hill, making sure that there was no way he could see her.   
  
A few minutes later, Astrid ran up, muttering, “Feel the burn. I can do this. Picture the cellulite melting away. Feel the burn.” When she reached the spot on top of the hill, she leaned over on her knees to take deep breaths. She saw binoculars on the ground and curious, picked them up. They looked like Renée’s binoculars. She looked around, but no one was around. She held them up to her eyes and peered through, trying to figure out what Renée could have been looking out. When she saw Harry Saxon climbing up a tree near the church, she knew exactly what happened. Renée saw Saxon and made a run for it.   
Astrid was now going to have to tell Adam that they just lost the bride. That was not going to be fun at all.   
  
~*~  
  
Adam’s hands clutched as he said through gritted teeth, “What do you mean ‘kind of missing’?”   
  
Astrid, still in her running clothes, shrugged. “She’s gone. She’s completely gone.” She looked over at the two beauticians who came with them yesterday, Jabe and Angie. Jabe was about five feet tall with dark skin and long black hair. Angie was much taller than her partner, almost as tall as Jonathon. She had lighter skin and short blonde hair. Both girls were well manicured, but their faces were ones of distress. Both women and Adam were in the kitchen of the castle eating breakfast when Astrid came in announcing that Renée was “kind of missing.”   
  
“Okay, so Renée saw Saxon. Did he see her?”   
  
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”   
  
Running his hands over his face, Adam took a few deep breaths, trying to figure out what to do next. Instead of remaining calm, however, he slapped his hand against the table. “How does he do this?!”   
  
Astrid said with an impressed smile, “He’s amazing, though.”   
  
Adam glared at her. He leaned against the table, ducking his head, trying to come up with an idea, something that will throw Saxon off the game. Years of working in the entertainment have prepared him for this moment. He knew exactly what to do. “Okay!” he said, looking up and standing tall. “He’s in a tree. He wants a photo of the happy couple. Let’s give him one. We go through with the wedding, exactly as planned. But with a stand-in! Saxon is convinced it’s the real wedding, takes his photo, and leaves. Then we find Renée, get her to the chapel and do it all over again, this time for real!”   
Astrid looked at him, astonished. “You’re amazing too.” She headed towards the door. “I’ll tell Jonathon!”   
  
“No!” Adam yelled, making Astrid jump. “Don’t tell that Googling leech anything! If he finds out that Renée has run off, he’ll insist on looking for her. No, he can’t know either. All we need is that wan–”  
  
Adam stopped himself mid-sentence when Jonathon himself opened the door to the kitchen and poked his head in. They all turned to him with fake smiles.   
“Oh, you’re all in here. Jabe, I’m going to do my own hair today, ‘cause I know what I want.”  
  
Jabe nodded. “Fine.”   
  
Jonathon glanced around at all of them and got the feeling that they were holding out on him. Looking concerned, he asked, “Everything alright?”   
  
“Yep!” Adam said, his fake smile getting bigger.   
  
“Yay!” Astrid replied, shaking her hands like maracas. “Good luck!”   
  
“Yeah,” Jonathon said, smiling, though he was convinced they were hiding something. “Thanks.” He gave them a big smile before closing the door.   
  
As soon as he was gone, they leaned in closer and whispered, in case Jonathon was listening at the door. “But I don’t understand how you plan on pulling that off,” Astrid said, referring to the idea of Jonathon not knowing the switch. “If he doesn’t know Renée is missing, how is that going to work?”  
“He has to think it is for real. We need a decoy. A decoy bride.” He looked at the beauticians. “Neither of you are right. You’re too dark and you’re too tall.”   
  
Astrid raised her hand. “I’ll do it!”   
  
Adam rolled his eyes. “Please, no. Saxon knows you. Besides, he’ll expect you to be standing next to them. I just need a woman who can walk twenty feet without falling over.” Suddenly an idea popped into his mind, so brilliant he knew that it would just about work. “What about that boring woman we met yesterday? The blonde one.”   
  
~*~  
  
“But I don’t look anything like Renée,” Rose said as she placed goods on the shelf in the store. The man from yesterday (whose name was Adam) and two other women walked into the shop not five minutes ago and told them how much they needed her to pretend to be Renée, just for an hour or so. Adam told her the truth: that Renée Poisson and her fiancé were here to get married. There was no marketing conference.   
  
However, Rose felt no pity for them. They made more money than she ever would. Surely having some photographer taking Renée’s picture wouldn’t be the end of the world.   
  
“That’s true,” Adam replied to Rose’s comment about her not resembling Renée. He pointed at the two women. “But neither does she until these women get through with her.” He clapped his hands together. “And we think you’re…full of potential.”   
  
Oh, she was full of something alright. And she didn’t believe him. Not for a second. She knew there had to be more going on, and she honestly didn’t care. “No. Sorry.”   
  
Adam knew the only way to win was to play hardball. “Two hundred pounds.”   
  
Rose shook her head and continued staking the shelves. “I’m really not interested. Besides, I’m off weddings.”   
  
“It’s not like it’s a real wedding. Five hundred pounds.”   
  
“Are they ever? I almost bought a dress once. Cost as much as this shop. No.”   
  
Adam was getting desperate. This…woman was the only young woman they have seen on the island. If she didn’t do it, there would be no wedding. He gulped. He had to raise the stakes. “Five. Thousand. Pounds.”   
  
“Has someone told you that I’m a call girl? Look, I’m not interested, okay? Besides my mum will be back from her friend’s house and I promised that I would make lunch for her.”   
  
“One hour of improvisation. No scenes of any sexual nature. Five thousand pounds.” Adam knelt down beside her and decided it was time to go in for the kill. “You could give your poor, sick, dying mother anything she wants with that kind of money.”   
  
Rose paused. She could get her mother off of this island and take her away.   
She sighed. For her mother, she’d do it.   
  
However, a few minutes later, she was highly regretting that decision.   
Sitting in her kitchen, the two beauticians, Jabe and Angie, were coming at her with weapons she had never seen before in her life. “What in God’s name is that?” she asked as Angie came close to her with some long very thin stick that was making a whirring noise.  
  
“I’m going to temporarily immobilize your nasolabial folds.”   
  
Rose looked over at Adam who was busy typing things into his phone. “Don’t be a diva,” he said without looking up. He didn’t want to admit it, but this was actually entertaining. Anything Jabe and Angie came at her with, Rose highly refused it. Of course, there was no way Rose would win the argument, but it was still fun to see her try.   
  
“What do you think you’re doing?” Rose asked Jabe as Angie put fake nails on her.   
  
Jabe was pouring toilet cleaner into a bowl. “It’s like dye.”   
  
“No!” Rose replied loudly. “I draw the line at you putting toilet cleaner   
anywhere near my head!”   
  
“It’s just for a touch up,” Jabe insisted calmly.   
  
“No! Besides, Renée is blonde! And with the veil the groom can’t tell that much of a difference, right?”   
  
Jabe looked at Adam. He shrugged. “She’s got a point. Leave out the toilet   
cleaner.”   
  
Jabe nodded and put down the bowl. She picked up a pair of tweezers. Rose gulped.   
  
It only got more humiliating later after they put the dress on her and Rose realized that it was loose in the chest area. She pulled on the loose material lightly, smiled and said, “Sorry.”   
  
“Hopeless,” Adam mumbled. He grabbed two tangerines on the table and held them up. Angie, however, rolled her eyes and pulled out handfuls of cotton from a bag nearby. Without another word, she walked over to Rose and pushed the fabric down the dress, adding to Rose’s cleavage. Rose blushed. It was like going through puberty again.   
  
However, she couldn’t argue too much later when she saw the finished work. In Renée’s wedding dress, Rose did look stunning. They pulled her hair back into an elegant bun, letting a few strands fall into her face. Her make-up was wonderfully done, drawing attention to her eyes, rather than her lips, something she has never been able to figure out how to do. And the dress itself? Oh, it was gorgeous! It was a tad too long, but nothing a good pair of heels wouldn’t fix. It was a bright white and fit her curves perfectly. There were designs going down the one side, and instead of making it look cheap, it looked extremely expensive. Rose had no doubt that it was.   
She couldn’t help but smile brightly when she saw herself. If she looked closely enough, she might actually be glowing.   
  
Her smile faded though when Adam came up behind her and looked at the reflection. He grimaced. “Oh.” He then turned her towards him and he pulled the veil in front of her face. He shook his head. “We need more.” He turned around and saw that her curtains where made of the same material. He ripped one down and fixed it on Rose’s head. He leaned back.   
  
“This might just work.”   
  
~*~  
  
Saxon leaned forward a bit on the branch, his camera held tightly in his hand. He could just see the entrance of the church and took pictures as Jonathon and Astrid got out of the car and walked inside.   
  
“Why is his hair all spiked up?” Saxon muttered before holding up the camera to his eye. Astrid came out and looked around. She was obviously checking to make sure that no press was around. She mustn’t have seen him since she walked back inside, no problem.   
  
Saxon grinned. This was better than he thought. Not only was he the only photographer on this island, but they didn’t even know he was here. Perfect.   
  
~*~  
In the car, Adam was still giving Rose tips on how to make this work. “Remember, you’re an Oscar nominee. You ooze confidence. You define poise. You’re the face that launched a thousand campaigns. And your latest thing is quoting Gertrude Stein. At length and from memory.”   
  
Rose could barely see thanks to the veil. All she could see of Adam was his hair and the shape of his face. She had no idea where they were going, but she had a guess. There was only one church on the island.   
  
Even though Rose knew she was doing this for a good cause, her hands were shaking. She was actually nervous! She kept reminding herself that it wasn’t for real, she was not actually marrying the groom, but it didn’t help. Rose quickly wished that she had something to drink, to help her out.   
  
Twisting her hands in her lap, she hoped that this photographer, this Saxon, was easily fooled. If he wasn’t, Rose would never see that money.   
  
Adam turned to her quickly, and asked seriously, “You can do a French accent, right?”   
  
Rose’s hands twitched more.   
  
~*~  
  
Still sitting in the tree, Saxon raised an earpiece to his ear. He could hear Jonathon and the priest talking.   
  
He grinned. The bug he planted earlier was working perfectly.   
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon gave a light cough and straightened his shoulders. He wasn’t such why he was so nervous. There was nothing more he wanted than to spend the rest of his life with Renée. She was everything to him.   
  
But he couldn’t get Rose’s words out of his head.  _“God, it’s been ages. Either he’s very blocked or it’s longer than that one! Can you imagine?”_ He was blocked, but it wasn’t because of his current situation, right? It had nothing to do with Renée. He just couldn’t think of an original idea.   
  
All words that the woman from yesterday said, however, flew out of his mind when the doors to the church opened and there stood Renée, looking lovely in her dress. His heart started pounding and his hands were sweaty, but the smile on his face was huge. He was actually going to marry her. Jonathon Arbor was going to marry Renée Poisson. She chose him! Out of all the men in the universe, she chose him!   
  
He was worried, though, that the veil was too much. He was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to see and his theory was correct when, after taking two steps, she bumped right into the pew. Adam was by her side in an instant and helped straightened her out. She then continued down, walking a little faster than she did the last time. Maybe she just wanted to finally get married.   
When she reached him, she tripped again. Jonathon reached out and grabbed her before she went down. This was unusual. Renée was also so confident and poise. He had rarely seen her trip. “You okay?” he whispered.   
  
She nodded. Then, straightening her shoulders, she turned towards the priest. Jonathon did too, but not before looking at her through the corner of his eye. Something wasn’t right.   
  
The priest started the ceremony. As he was talking, Jonathon’s smile came back. They were really doing this. No interruptions, no photographers, no paparazzi, nothing. Everything was going perfectly.   
  
Jonathon didn’t see, however, Adam looking at his watch and though he was dying for this shindig to be over with. He didn’t notice Astrid quietly walking around the place, as though looking for something that was very small.   
The priest asked Jonathon, “Will you love her, comfort, honour and protect her? And forsaking all others, be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?”   
  
“I will,” Jonathon replied.   
  
~*~  
  
Saxon was sitting on the branch, listening to the ceremony while looking at the pictures he had taken of Renée during her first wedding. She was so beautiful. Then again, she was always beautiful.   
  
When Jonathon replied to the priest’s questions, Saxon found himself also saying, “I will.”   
  
He looked up, confused. He will?   
  
What the hell…?   
  
~*~  
  
Just as they were about to start the vows, Astrid found the bug hidden in a hymnal. She slowly took it out and placed it on the pew.   
  
“I, Jonathon David Arbor, take you, Renée Poisson, to be my wife. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health–”  
  
SMACK!   
  
Jonathon turned around and saw Astrid standing there holding her shoe in her hand. She smiled. “Saw a bug,” she said lamely.   
  
He looked back at Renée. Confused, yes, but he was also determined to on with this. He couldn’t wait for his life with Renée to begin. So, with another quick glance at Astrid, he continued. “To love and to cherish until death do us part. In the presence of God, I take this vow.”  
  
The priest turned to Rose. “Renée?”   
  
Rose gulped. With a terrible French accent, Rose said, “I, Renée Poi-sson, do take you, Jonathon David Arbor, to be my hus-band.” Rose started to panic. Her Cockney accent was too strong; her French sounded more American.   
  
Jonathon noticed the change, and looked back at Adam, who shrugged.   
“Nerves,” he mouthed. Jonathon looked back at Renée as she continued.   
  
“For richer, for poor-er-er. To love and to cher-ish until death do us part.” Quickly, Rose finished up, mumbling, “In the presence of God, I take this vow.”   
  
Jonathon looked confused at the priest who gave a weak smile and asked, “Rings?”  
  
Adam stepped forward and Jonathon leaned over and whispered, “Adam, what the hell is going on?”   
  
“Just play along and I’ll explain everything to you later,” Adam whispered back, a fake smile on his face. He asked the priest, “The ring text is optional, yes?”   
Then grabbing Jonathon’s hand, Adam shoved the ring onto his left ring finger. He did the same to Rose. When he stepped back, the priest stated, “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”   
  
Jonathon, however, looked angrily at Adam and then at the woman in front of him. “What is going on? Who is this?” He lifted up the veil and was shocked when it wasn’t Renée’s face staring back at him, but another blonde that he had only recently met.   
  
Rose was shocked as well when the handsome man she met yesterday looked down at her. “James Smith?” she asked, bewildered.   
  
Jonathon looked down her, eyebrows knitting together. “ _Toilet girl?!_ ”  
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon immediately started demanding answers, but Adam held off, stating that they should head to the castle and talk there. Then the four of them, Adam, Astrid, Jonathon and Rose all headed towards the castle that wasn’t too far from the church.   
  
“We needed to buy us some time,” Adam said when they were crossing the bridge to the castle. Jonathon had been asking questions the whole time, getting angrier and angrier.   
  
“Who’s we? Who’s looking for her?” Jonathon demanded, following Adam into the castle.   
  
Adam gestured vaguely. “You know, the gang.”  
  
“You mean the beauticians!? Are you mad?! How long has she been missing?! She could have fallen off a cliff! And did you really think that Saxon would believe that this…” he gestured to Rose who followed them inside with Astrid, “…this toilet attendant was actually Renée!”   
  
“I am not a toilet attendant!” Rose shouted back. All she wanted to do now was get out of this dress, get her money and go home. Wasn’t her fault that Jonathon Arbor was not as stupid as he looked. Well, he was stupid yesterday. “I’m sorry, but from the outside your house looks like it was open to the public…” Did he really think her house was a toilet?! Although now he seemed to be believe that she worked there. She had just enough of this Adam bloke, and she was mostly certainly over that tiny crush she had developed on Jam–Jonathon.   
  
He was better when she thought his name was James. At least James was nicer.   
  
Jonathon, Adam, and Astrid all walked briskly towards the stairs, still arguing. Rose, however, was stunned at all the work they had done on the castle. It was beautiful. She knew that this place was almost useless, but whatever they did to it gave it character. And only having been here the day before, she knew that they must have worked really hard on it. “How–when did they do all this?” she asked, looking around.   
  
When Jonathon, Adam, and Astrid reached the top of the stairs, Adam turned to Jonathon and declared, “This is my job! To protect Renée’s career!”  
  
“No career, no,” Jonathon responded, shaking his head. “No, she’s retiring!”   
  
“Newsflash! Only you and her think that!” Adam yelled.   
  
Rose walked up the stairs, holding her dress up. She really just wanted to go home. She was about to ask for the money when Astrid glanced out the window. “Oh no.” She turned towards Adam and Jonathon who were still standing near the edge of the stairs. “Adam! ADAM!”   
  
“What?!” He yelled, walking over to her.   
  
“Look!” She pointed out the window.   
  
Over the hill, like some army ready for battle, came the paparazzi. Hundreds of them, all holding microphones, cameras, or camcorders. And they were heading straight for the castle.   
  
Jonathon joined them now, but Rose stood a few feet away from them. This wasn’t her problem. She just wanted out. She did her job. Too bad for them that it didn’t go through.   
  
“Is that the press?” Astrid asked.   
  
“For crying out loud! How did this happen!?” Adam bellowed.   
  
Not caring for their problems, Rose turned to Adam. “Can I please have my clothes? And my check? My mother’s expecting me.”   
  
Adam ignored her.  
  
Jonathon also turned to Adam. “I’m going to go look for her,” he declared.   
  
Adam waved him off. “No, no. The last thing we need is you charging around attracting unwanted attention.”   
  
“Renée is missing! There could be wolves out there!” Jonathon insisted.   
  
Rose rolled her eyes. Wolves? Please. No wonder his book was trash. He didn’t know a thing about this island.   
  
Adam took a deep breath. He nodded and said calmly, “Of course. Of course, if anyone could find her, it would be you.” He gestured to a door off to the right. “Right through here, both of you. It’s another exit.” He walked them over to the door and opened it. Once they were both inside, Adam slammed the door shut and locked the door.   
  
Rose immediately started pounding on the door. “An hour, you said!”   
  
Adam leaned against the wall. “Well, I’m full of shit. I’m in the entertainment business, Sweetie. I lied.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

“There must be a way out,” Jonathon said, walking around the room. There was a thin window, but even if Jonathon could squeeze out of it, which he was almost positive he couldn’t, there was no way he could make that fall. True, it was water below him, but still, that would be one hell of a jump.   
  
Of all the ways he thought his life would be like after his wedding, this was not one of them. Being stuck in a room with a woman he barely knew, who also happened to be wearing the wedding dress of the woman he was supposed to marry, didn’t even come in the top hundred scenarios he pictured.   
  
Rose, also frustrated with the way things worked out, took off her veil and threw it on the bed that was in the center of the room. The room itself was…odd, to say the least. It was a circular room, with curtains covering one wall, and a huge bookcase on the opposite side. There were also a table full of gifts, a tall wedding cake, and a foot spa off to the side. What made it strange were the decorations, though. It was covered in branches that were well above Rose’s head, but gently grazed Jonathon’s. And on top of the branches were stuffed birds. Rose shook her head. These were strange people.   
  
Rose has always been uncomfortable with silence, so she said the first thing that came into her mind. “I’m not a toilet attendant, you know. And I did tell you my name.”   
  
Barely paying an attention, Jonathon walked around the room, still trying to figure out how to get out. “Yes, if only I could remember your name, then we could get out of here!” he replied sarcastically.   
  
“Sorry,” Rose said, getting even more annoyed with him. No wonder Renée ran off. Maybe Saxon was only half of the reason. “It’s cruel to give the servants’ names, isn’t it? Don’t want to get too attached to them.”   
  
Jonathon turned back towards Rose and said angrily, “Astonishing! Give you a white dress and a good wash and suddenly everything is about you! It’s not your big day, Rose.” He added her name snarkily, to show that he did remember her name. And he didn’t want her to be correct in her assessment that saying someone’s name makes you attached to them. Not that he’s attached to Rose, it’s just he didn’t want her to be correct. Or maybe he was attached. At this point, his head hurt from all that has happened, and this conversation was not helping.   
  
Rose held her chin high. “Not yours either, apparently.” He turned away from her, hoping to find another way out from this whole ordeal. Rose looked around the room again when something clicked. “You’re having a Quick Responses theme wedding, aren’t you?” Why would they want that? she thought. She’s heard of weddings based off of books, but based off of Quick Responses? That’s just sad.   
  
Jonathon looked around, as though seeing the room for the first time. He didn’t even realize that the whole wedding was based on his book. Not wanting to admit that to Rose, he casually brushed a branch away from his face as he asked, “And if we are?”  
  
Rose shrugged. “I suppose it could be worse. I could be stuck in Stephen King’s honeymoon, though I’ve heard he’s a nice guy.”  
  
Wanting to get the upper hand again, Jonathon asked angrily, “How much are they paying you for this, in hillbilly money.”   
  
Rose made a face as she said, “Not nearly enough.”   
  
~*~  
  
Adam and Astrid were standing outside the room Jonathon and Rose were stuck in. They were causally leaning against the railing, still staring at all the press that were outside waiting for a picture of Renée in her gown.   
  
“So, why are we doing that?” Astrid asked, pointing to the locked door.   
  
Adam straightened his shoulders. “As long as they,” he said nodding his head towards the press, “think Renée is in the castle, they won’t go looking for her. As long as they’re camping out there, none of them will look for Renée.”   
  
“Ah,” Astrid said before glancing over at the door again. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was a brilliant idea or a mad one. She understood about the press, but locking Jonathon and the blonde in the room together? If their shouts are anything to go by, they’ll kill each other.   
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, the small town saw the boat load of people coming onto shore. The elders quickly gathered all the pastries they had and ran off towards the castle, holding out boxes filled with cookies, biscuits, cakes, etc. Some even brought tea.   
  
“One pound each,” a few of them said as they walked as quickly as they could to the swarms of people. One whispered to another, “This is a great way to make a few extra bucks. But I wonder what they’re all doing here.”   
  
Not too far away from there an elderly woman, Sally, was knocking on the outhouse door. “Come on, Lee! Hurry up in there! There is money to be made!”  
  
Lee grumbled a response and picked up a copy of Quick Responses that was next to the toilet. After ripping out a few pages and using it to clean himself, the man opened the door and walked out. However, he never noticed that hiding on top of a plank of wood on the ceiling was Renée Poisson, who was lying down hoping not to be noticed.   
  
Desperate times call for desperate measures.  
  
~*~  
  
Back in the castle, Rose was looking around the room, admiring the decorations. There were still odd–as was this whole situation–but she could still admire them. She pulled back the curtain that was off to the side and it revealed an ice sculpture of a man and woman in a tight embrace.   
  
“Ah, the happy couple,” Rose commented. She looked at the male figure and smirked. “Nice arse.”   
  
Jonathon, blushing, turned away and did not respond.   
  
Curiosity getting the best out of Rose, she took a bag that was sitting at the base of the sculpture and picked it up. “Hmm, what’s this?” she muttered before sitting on the bed and opening it up. She pulled out the items as she said, “An iPhone, diamond earrings, a sparkling calculator! My, my, my, it’s a party bag, isn’t it? You’re getting a party bag from your own wedding!” She almost laughed, thinking about how she could barely make ends meet, meanwhile, Jonathon and Renée are spending their money on frivolous things like party bags for themselves! She admired the calculator that was covered in diamonds, though if they were real, she had no idea. Still, the idea that they could have been made her laugh with how ridiculous these people were. “You’re too far gone to understand, but it’s so funny.”   
  
Jonathon was sitting in a chair near the wall and was trying to ignore her, but his eyes kept looking over at her as she admired the calculator. “I’m counting all my money on my very expensive money counting machine!” Rose laughed. “Bling, bling!” She picked up the mobile as though she was answering it. “Hello? Eight times six million, at twelve and a half per cent interest? I’ll check that for you!”   
  
Fed up, Jonathon stood up and said, “Look, try to get your head around this. I’m marrying Renée Poisson. I’m not marrying you.” He gestured around the room. “This is Renée’s idea,” after a moment, he added, as though he should, “and my idea of a great wedding!”   
  
Rose, however, was not affected by his speech and continued pulling items out of the bag. She held up a plain white ladies shirt that said ‘Mrs. Arbor’ on it. She grinned, her tongue poking out between her teeth.   
  
Jonathon leaned over on the bed as he continued, “If I were marrying you, we would be in the place of your choosing. The bar of some brightly lit two star hotel, no doubt, draped in tinsel, drinking German wine and watching your cousins have sex in the car park!”   
  
Rose wondered how she ever thought she could like this man. Yesterday he was all nerves, stumbling over his words, as though unsure of what to say. Today he was an egotistical twit who needed a slap across the face. She threw the shirt on the bed and stood up declaring, “You’re a horrible snob!”   
  
“So are you!” he shouted back. Except, when he thought about it, it wasn’t her fault she was stuck here. She hasn’t said anything so far that hasn’t been true. He was being a git. She was being paid to help someone out, and now she was stuck in a room with a man who it was clear she did not like. Well, anymore. He was positive that she was flirting with him yesterday, but today it was like she hoped she would never see him again. He folded his arms across his chest as he stood up straight. He couldn’t blame her exactly. It was Adam’s idea, if he understood the story correctly. Still, he had to take his frustrations out on someone, and Rose was the nearest person.   
  
Rose, though unaffected by what he said, walked over to the bookcases. They all contained the same book: Quick Responses. “What an electric library.” She took one off the shelf and opened it to the cover page. “Signed. How tragic.”   
  
Jonathon sat down on the bed, silently agreeing.   
  
Rose suddenly looked up when a thought occurred to her. “Did you sign the register?”   
  
“You saw me,” Jonathon said softly. “Why?”   
  
“Is that the legal bit? I think with all the fuss, I might have signed my own name,” she said with a laugh. Then she stopped laughing. She signed her own name?   
  
She signed her own name?!   
  
“So?” Jonathon asked. Obviously it did not occur to him what Rose was implying.   
  
Suddenly it did.   
  
Both Jonathon and Rose looked down at their respected left hand, noting the matching ring they both wore. Then they looked at each other, mouths dropping.   
  
They were actually married!   
  
~*~  
  
Renée looked around while tiptoeing towards the nearest house. Not seeing anyone around, she moved a bit faster until she reached the door. Hesitantly, she knocked. When there was no answer, she tried the doorknob. The door opened with a slight squeak. She tiptoed inside and looked around. “Hello?” she called out. No one responded.   
  
She looked over and saw exactly what she needed. Make-up. She sat down at the vanity and pulled over the some powder. Beauticians may have followed her her entire life, but she knew how to do extensive make-up. She grabbed a few cotton balls and got to work.   
  
~*~  
  
Adam and Astrid stood in front of the press, fake smiles on both of their faces. “I can confirm,” Adam stated into the many microphones and handheld devices that were being pushing into his face, “that Renée Poisson and Jonathon Arbor were married this afternoon in a tasteful private ceremony.”   
  
“Who designed her dress?!” one reporter yelled.   
  
“Who was there?!” another shouted.   
  
“Where’s the honeymoon?” yelled one from the back.   
  
“Will we get photos?!” shouted another one.   
  
Adam held up his hands, ignoring them all. “They will be leaving for a secret honeymoon destination in the morning. As you can see, they will spend their wedding night in that room, over there,” he said, pointing the opposite side of where Jonathon and Rose were currently being hidden. “That window there is where all the action is.” After a pause, he added, “Thank you.”   
  
And with that, Astrid and Adam turned and walked back into the castle.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Soaking their feet in the foot spa that was in the room, Rose and Jonathon were both eating huge pieces of cake they had cut up. Jonathon also was holding a bottle of champagne which they were splitting. After all, they were married. They could share their germs.   
  
“Don’t get the bottom of the dress wet,” Jonathon said as Rose shifted.   
  
“Want me to take it off?” she asked slightly irritated and mockingly seductive. Still, she fixed the dress so that the bottom of it wasn’t anywhere near the water.  
  
Jonathon ignored her. “You’re not married already, are you? ‘Cause I’m imagining that that might be helpful.”   
  
“No,” Rose said taking the bottle from him and taking a swing.   
  
“Oh, that’s right!” he said, remembering her comment from yesterday. “Not married, but still a world authority on romance in literature when not cruising toilets for men,” he continued before grabbing for the bottle and taking a large swing.   
  
Rose took a bite of her cake. “Parasite. I bet she made you sign a pre-nup, didn’t she?” Rose was joking, but when he tried to change the topic and asked her how they got her into that dress (and a little too causally, he leaned over to peek inside her cleavage, Rose might add), she pushed him away and gasped. “She has! How does that work exactly? When you get divorced, does she get half of your unfinished books?”  
  
He gulped his piece of cake before declaring, “I am no parasite! Besides, I didn’t even live with Renée until recently. She built me a gazebo in the ground where I can do my work.”   
  
Rose laughed. “She keeps you in a shed, at the bottom of the garden, like a tortoise!”   
  
Jonathon was through with being nice to her. Also, he hated the fact that she has been right about everything that she accuses both him and Renée of. “Look, you’re what, early 30’s?”   
  
“Twenty-five, actually,” she replied, not liking that he thought she was older.   
  
Jonathon, seeing an in took it with both hands. “Still living with your mum?”   
  
That earned him a glare. “I am living with my mother, temporarily, because she is sick!”   
  
Okay, that wasn’t the response he expected. Feeling slightly guilty, he changed topics. “And what is it you do again? Are you the president of the Burrow Book Club, or do you just administer their medication?”   
  
“I too am a writer!” Rose declared taking back the champagne and taking a sip.   
  
Jonathon didn’t believe her. With a laugh, he asked, “A writer?! A writer of what exactly?”   
  
He had her there. There was no way she was coming out of this conversation looking good. She looked down at her feet before saying, “Something that people actually read!”   
  
“Do you write cereal packets?” he asked with fake enthusiasm.   
  
“Look–”  
  
“Do you write your name over and over again on the back of filthy trucks?” Okay, that one was cruel, but he couldn’t help himself. It was like this woman brought out the worst in him.   
  
Knowing it would just get worse, Rose stopped him by telling him the truth. Kind of. “If you must know, I write for an online menswear catalogue. A trouser catalogue.”   
  
Jonathon couldn’t control himself. He started laughing.   
  
Rose blushed as she looked down and said, “I don’t do it anymore.”   
  
“What? ‘Five pairs of brown trousers with elasticated waistbands, thirty pounds while supplies last’? That kind of thing?” Jonathon asked with a grin, liking that he finally had her.   
  
Rose, however, didn’t like that he had won and pushed it further. “I’m also writing the official guide to Burrow, which is more accurate then certain other accounts on the island!”   
  
Jonathon just glanced up at her through his eyelashes and said sarcastically, “Oh, that sounds fascinating!”   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Jabe and Angie were walking around in high weeds, looking for Renée . They had a walkie-talkie and heard Adam ask them, “Any news? Have you found her, over.”   
  
Angie rolled her eyes before saying, “Hello! This island is a whole lot bigger than you said, over!”   
  
“Perhaps you’d like to do some time in the San Quentin nail bar instead! Find her, over. And out!” With that, Adam turned off the walkie-talkie and leaned back in his chair, sighing.   
  
Astrid, not liking seeing him under this much stress, went to give him a backrub, but he just shrugged her off and muttered, “Later.”   
  
Sometimes, Astrid thinks, if it wasn’t for Renée, she would have walked out years ago.   
  
Adam, though not realizing that Astrid wasn’t as faithful to him as he had thought, rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. “Where the hell is she?!”   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Jabe and Angie were looking for a young woman, however, Renée no longer looked like she was twenty-eight. Nor did she even look like she was thirty-eight. Thanks to the make-up and clothes she borrowed, she looked closer to sixty-eight. With some wax and powder, she completely changed her face to give her wrinkles and a longer nose. Then with a pair of glasses, a cane, old looking clothes, and a scarf around her head, she passed easily as one of the older women on the island. She knew her plan worked perfectly when she walked past three reporters with no problem.   
  
She walked up to the castle, making sure to give herself a limp, she came up to the security guard. Harold, she believed was his name. She has seen him on many different occasions and knew that he had a soft spot of chocolate chip cookies. “Hello,” she said in a perfect English accent.   
  
Harold looked down at her and said, “Move along, miss. No one is allowed inside the castle.” The three reporters she walked past earlier were about five feet away from her. She could them obviously laughing her for thinking she could get inside. Renée had to admit, it was a pretty dumb idea, but she had to try. Going in another direction she asked them in a weak English voice, “Tell me, would any of you lads have one of those…portable mobiles that I could borrow?”   
  
The one shook his head. “Sorry love, but there is no service out here. There’s a phone booth right over there,” he said nodding to a red telephone booth about fifty feet away. “But I think you need a ticket or something. You could get one of those, over there,” he continued and pointed to a tent behind him that said ‘Burrow Media Centre.’ “They are bloody starving for money, I tell you. Make you pay for everything here.”   
  
She thanks him before walking to the tent. Inside were where all the people were gathered, some sitting at tables selling stuff, others walking around holding food. She went over to the one table and asked for a ticket for the telephone. She just happened to hear a blonde hair say very loudly, “Keep the triples coming, I’m buying!”   
  
An older woman appeared out of nowhere next to Renée . “Look at her,” she said disgustingly. “Flashing that money around like that.” Renée was about to ask the woman what she meant by that when the woman continued. “It’s as if that story was hers to sell!”   
  
Renée looked over at the woman once more. She was a woman in her forties who was laughing at something the gentleman in front of her was saying. Renée narrowed her eyes. So, this woman told the press that Renée and Jonathon were here to get married? She’ll have to have a chat with that woman.   
  
Before she could do anything, though, a well-dressed man walked into the tent. He was about mid-thirties and his suit screamed that he was not from around here. “Excuse me, everyone, but I am the editor of Star’s Today and I am here to buy a copy of Renée Poisson in her wedding for my wedding special.”   
  
“Good luck, mate,” said a reporter who was sitting at one of the tables with a beer. “It’s a total wash out. Nobody’s seen anything and there were no pictures taken.”   
  
“Yeah, you mean you don’t have any pictures,” the editor said. He then continued confidently, “But I know Harry Saxon will have some pictures.”   
  
“What you mean that Harry Saxon?” another reporter asked, moving a little to point to a man who was slumped down at the table.   
  
The editor walked over to the drunk Saxon and bent down. “Saxon? Saxon!” When he looked up, the editor asked excitedly, “Do you have it, mate? Do you have pictures of Renée ’s wedding?”   
  
Saxon looked defeated as he slurred, “I have nothing.”   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
“What’s this fantastic book that you’re writing, as we speak,” Rose asked sarcastically, somehow knowing that he has yet to even start the book. “If it even exists,” she muttered.   
  
“It’s, um, about the end of the world seen from…seen from the view of a time…traveler,” he said, stumbling over his words as he made up the plot right then.   
  
Rose rolled her eyes. “Time travel? Hasn’t anyone ever told you to write what you know?”   
  
He shrugged and looked down. “I like the idea of time traveling. I think it’s pretty interesting.”   
  
Rose shook her head. “No wonder you’re blocked. But,” she said as she took a big sigh, “perhaps you should write what you like instead of writing what you think other people will like.” After a moment though, Rose came to a realization. “She thinks your genius, doesn’t she? And you’re trying to be one so you’re good enough to be with someone like Renée Poisson!” When his only response was opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, she laughed with glee. “But instead of making you a genius, it has left you completely blocked! Pathetic!”   
  
He glared at her and threw back, “Still living at home, pretending to be a movie star, writing a guide book that no one would ever want to read, that’s pathetic!”   
  
Rose has never wanted to slap a person so badly in her life. They stared at each other, glaring, waiting for the other person’s move. After a moment, though, Rose’s face fell, just a tiny bit, because she knew he was right. She was pathetic. This was the only bit of excitement she has ever had, and it was while pretending to be someone else! Jonathon looked away, feeling awful. He couldn’t seem to say anything nice to this woman, and every time he opened his mouth, he just insulted her more.   
  
“I’m — I’m going to go open my presents now,” he said and standing up in the foot spa, he climbed over and walked to where his presents were.   
  
Rose turned her back to him and bit into her cake. She couldn’t wait until she was allowed to leave.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Inside of the Burrow Media Centre, Renée limped over to Saxon, wanting to rub in the fact that he never got his picture. “Oi, you never got your picture?”   
  
Saxon shook his head. But when he looked up, his drunk eyes narrowed. “Do I know you?”   
  
Renée looked away and said, “No, I don’t think so.”   
  
Saxon gave a half shrug and nodded. “You’re probably right. I don’t seem to see any girl but her.”   
  
Renée froze. “You mean…this blonde girl?”   
  
Saxon poured himself another drink and gulped it down. “Yep,” he said, putting the glass back down with a thunk. He picked up his camera, turned it on, and fiddled with it a moment before handing it to her. There were pictures of her swimming and relaxing in her pool from months earlier. “Did you know that she lived in her pool for two weeks before she started filming Drowning?”   
  
“I’ve never seen these before,” Renée said, stunned. She almost forgot her accent, but she caught herself just in time.   
  
“Never sold them,” he said casually. He made his life off of selling pictures of her, so why wouldn’t he sell these? “I lived above her pool house for a week. We are both obsessive compulsive types, you know?”   
  
“Why didn’t you sell them?” Renée asked, handing the camera back.   
  
“Too personal.” He leaned in closer as he said, “And I realized something earlier that shocked the hell out of me. I’m in love with her. I love this woman that hates me, how’s that for irony?” He pulled back and sighed. “I am a cavern of longingness.” He paused for a moment before looking back up at her. “Is that even a word?”   
  
Without hesitation, Renée nodded. “Yes.”   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
After having the conversation with the lovely elderly woman, Saxon decided that he had to go get her from that horrible Jonathon person. He could never, and would never, appreciate Renée the way Saxon could.   
  
So, even though he was slightly drunk, Saxon headed for the castle.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose held up two DVDs. One was a hospital drama that used to be on in America while the other was cat documentaries. “I don’t get it.”   
  
Flopping down on the bed, a little drunk and holding a ukulele, Jonathon said, “Renée and I like the drama show and big cats documentaries.”   
  
Rose snorted. “Could you imagine if you watched one then the other? You could have nightmares about cats working in hospitals!”   
  
Jonathon chuckled, but then stopped when an idea popped into his head. Cats as doctors? Like, if someone traveled into the future, cats could work in hospitals while wearing a habit of some kind. He liked it. He could run with that idea.   
  
Jonathon was about to ask her what she thought of the idea when the door slammed opened and Saxon stood there, soaking wet. He must have gotten through by swimming in the moat. Rose wrinkled her nose; she saw that water. It didn’t look clean.   
  
Jonathon jumped up from the bed while Rose moved to the side. This could get ugly, she thought. However, if Saxon moved she could make her escape.   
  
Saxon was breathing heavily and when he noticed that Renée was not in the room, asked Jonathon, “Where’s Renée?”   
  
Jonathon scoffed. “As if I’d tell you!”   
  
Saxon looked over at Rose and his face twisted in anger. “Behind the back of the world’s most fascinating woman, you drink champagne and cavort with prostitutes!?”   
  
Rose rolled her eyes. “I am not a prostitute!” Why did everybody keep thinking that?   
  
To defend her honor, she held up her left hand. “I’m his wife!”   
  
However, that didn’t have the affect Rose was going for. If anything, it made things worse. Jonathon tried to cover for both of them by saying, “She is…” he trailed off before saying, “a horrendous mistake!”   
  
Rose couldn’t help but feel like she was slapped in the face. She knew that Jonathon didn’t like her, and she knew this was all a mistake, but a horrendous mistake? That hurt.   
  
“You’ve failed to marry Renée,” Saxon sneered. “She is a better match for you!” he yelled pointing to Rose.   
  
With all that has happened through the day, Jonathon finally snapped. Instead of yelling back at Saxon, this time Jonathon got physical. He launched himself at Saxon. Rose, on the other hand, got out of the way. This was one thing she didn’t want to get herself involved in this. Well, she didn’t want to get involved in any of this mess, but this fight was between Jonathon and Saxon, not her. She stood by the edge of the wall near the window, looking bored. She didn’t care who won, as long as it got her out of here.   
  
While struggling with each other, both Saxon and Jonathon saw the swords that were placed on the wall. They looked at each other before each going to grab it. Unfortunately for them, the swords were welded together and were not in fact real.   
  
That didn’t stop them from trying to separate them, though.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Renée inally was able to get the public phone to work and instantly called Jonathon. He didn’t pick up and it went straight to voicemail. “Hello, you’ve reached Jonathon Arbor. I’m sorry, but I can’t take your call right now. However, if this is Random House, I’ve had a succession of computer problems and am currently getting over an illness. I’m feeling better now and should have a couple of chapters for you in the mail by the weekend.”   
  
As she left a message for him, she didn’t see that the editor of Star’s Today was watching her. And he knew exactly who she was.   
  
When she hung up the phone and walked out of the red telephone booth, he walked right up to her and grinned. “Well, it looks like I might have hit on my very own Renée Poisson exclusive.”   
  
However, when she pushed him in the face, knocking him to the ground, perhaps he realized that no, he was not getting that exclusive.   
  
And it was also when Renée saw Jackie Tyler leaving the tent that the latter realized she should have left sooner.   
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Rose wished she had a bag of popcorn.   
  
The fight was almost comical since both men were just horrible at it. Having given up on the swords that were welded together, they were now throwing stuffed puffins at each other. Rose only moved when she didn’t want to get hit.   
  
“Are you going to keep throwing puffins at me!?” Jonathon taunted. “Or are you going to fight like a man?!”   
  
Considering that he too was throwing the stuffed animals, Rose didn’t think he had a lot of room to talk. However, when Saxon was out of puffins to throw, he picked up the ukulele Jonathon was holding before and threw it at him. It missed Jonathon completely, but almost hit Rose. She moved out of the way just in time, but it did chip the wall. When Rose saw what it did, she walked over to the wall and looked at it. Well, Rose thought, lightly touching the mark. Isn’t that wizard?   
  
Jonathon crawled over the bed to attack Saxon. However, Saxon backed out of the way, yelling, “I will find her! And when I find her, I will have her!” And with that, Saxon ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.   
  
Jonathon ran up to it, but when he tugged on the doorknob and realized it was once again locked, he slammed his hand against the door, and then instantly regretted that decision. He brought his hand into his body and rubbed it, trying to get feeling back into it. Rose, however, hasn’t looking at Jonathon, nor was she looking anywhere in his direction. She was focused on the chip on the wall. It was not an ordinary chip. The base of it felt like cheap plywood. Rose raised a finger and scratched at the wall. The paint chipped off easily. “Jonathon,” she said, looking over at him. He looked up, still rubbing his hand. “Look at this.”   
  
She flicked off another piece of the wall. They stared at each other in shock. He walked over to her and felt the wall. He leaned his head up against it and knocked. Hollow. Stepping back, Jonathon kicked at the wall and it easily broke, foam boards holding the wall up. Jonathon looked out the hole he made and saw stairs. “Huh,” he said leaning back and grinning over at Rose. “Adam wasn’t kidding when he said this is the way out.”   
  
He kicked enough of the wall to get them through. They walked down the stairs until the entered a room that had one narrow window overlooking the little moat around the castle. Jonathon stepped onto the table to look out the window and seeing a Swan boat right beneath it, climbed back down, looked around the room until he saw a rope. He tied it to the leg of the table and then proceed to the throw the rest of the rope out the window.   
  
“What are you doing?” Rose asked, not believing what she was seeing.   
  
Jonathon was climbing onto the table again as he said sarcastically, “Nipping out for some milk.”  
  
“Who do you think you are? Tarzan?”   
  
“Renée has a climbing wall,” he said simply as he shifted around on the narrow windowsill, trying to get the angle right while still holding onto the rope.   
  
“Of course she does,” Rose muttered.   
  
When he got himself angled right, he looked over at her and said sarcastically, “Well, it’s been an absolute pleasure.”   
  
“Wait, no, you’re not leaving me here. What makes your girlfriend more of a priority than my sick mother?”  
  
Jonathon didn’t want to admit that she had a point, and really she should come with him. Frankly, though, he had just about enough of her, and if he never saw her again, it would be too soon. “There could be wolves out there,” he said lamely.   
  
“Wolves? Wolves? There are no wolves. We don’t even have bees! She could step on a hedgehog.” Then almost to herself, she added, “Which would be good, actually, because we’re overrun.”   
  
“Save it for the sequel of your dreary little guidebook,” he said before he started climbing down into the swan boat.   
  
He heard her shout, “Wait for me!” and just said, “No, stay there! There’s water on the bottom of the boat! You’ll get the bottom of the dress wet!”   
  
But Rose Tyler was not someone who could be pushed around easily. And, more importantly, she wanted out of here, and frankly out of this dress. She climbed up unto the table, slightly cursing the shoes as she stumbled a bit. “Wait!” she shouted, but he was already in the boat, peddling away.   
  
“Damn nails,” she muttered, as she turned around on the windowsill, trying to hold onto the rope. She didn’t realize that Jonathon had moved. If she did, she wouldn’t have let go of the rope, though that was more of a mistake than anything else. Rose was able to let out a tiny shriek before she fell into the water and immediately hit the bottom of the moat. She tried kicking her way up, but her dress was caught on something. Rose felt her away around, trying to figure out what it was, but the water was too dirty and she was losing oxygen quickly. There was no way she could see what was going on around her.   
  
Jonathon, though, was rolling his eyes the moment he heard the splash. He should have known that she would come after him. That she wouldn’t wait inside and sit there until she was released back into the community. He wasn’t surprised. Not in the slightest.   
  
He was surprised, however, on the fact that she wasn’t coming back up.  
  
After a moment, he realized that right now, he had one of two decisions to make: either he could leave her there where she would most likely drown or he could go in after her and both of them could drown. He shook his head as he realized his decision. Without a second thought, he held his breath and jumped in.   
  
He was either mad or a hero. Quite possibly both.   
  
He swam down until he was on top of her. He looked further down and saw her dress was caught on some kind of hook. Feeling around, he pulled on the dress until he found the exact location of where it was stuck. But it wasn’t coming lose. Doing the only thing he could think of, he started ripping the dress, hoping it wouldn’t take him too long to get enough off and get them both up. Finally, he ripped enough off that she was floating up. He grabbed her and pulled up onto the shore.   
  
When they were finally on land, he pulled her away from the water and collapsed next to her. He checked for her breathing, but because he was breathing so hard, he wasn’t sure if she was. Gently taking her chin into his hand, he straighten her neck and was about to do CPR when she coughed right into his face. Rose coughed up some water and turned her head to the side, spitting it out. Relived that she was alive, Jonathon took a deep breath and looked down at her.   
  
Her hazel eyes were focused on him as she gasped, “Please, don’t look at my legs.” Rose could feel that the material that once surrounded her legs were gone. He ripped about five inches below her crotch area, and that was just too much skin to show off. Jonathon, however, was perplexed about why after everything that just happened, that’s what she choose to comment on. But before he could even turn his head all the way, she begged, “Please.”   
  
Jonathon took a deep breath as he commented, “You got the bottom of the dress wet.”   
  
Relived that they were both alive and–though a good portion of Rose’s dress was now at the bottom of moat–in one piece, they couldn’t help but laugh. They both started giggling, not believing what they just went through. Jonathon collapsed next to Rose, still laughing.


	4. Chapter 4

Walking along the beach on Burrow, Jonathon and Rose were both dripping wet thanks to the near-death experience they now shared. Jonathon had taken off his coat and was simply holding it in one hand, and though Rose had long ago taken off her shoes (“Walking in sand is bad enough. Walking in the sand with heels on is impossible and I am not going to break my ankle, thank you very much”), she was trying to hold the little amount of material she had left down while trying to keep up with him. Jonathon had much longer legs than she did and therefore took bigger steps.   
  
They were heading back towards Rose’s house, hoping that there they could dry off and maybe get some clothes for Jonathon. Rose had no idea what he could possibly wear, but maybe her mother had something in a trunk that he could borrow.   
  
Rose looked up at Jonathon from the corner of her eye. He saved her life. The man who drove her insane all day just saved her life. That was more like the man she had met yesterday, not the one she met earlier today. She cleared her throat before saying, “Thanks for saving my life.”   
  
“Well, I’m sorry you nearly drowned,” Jonathon replied, happy with being the hero. She may have driven him crazy all day, but he knew that she was placed in an awkward situation as well. And besides, he’s the one that moved the boat. If he hadn’t, she wouldn’t have fallen into the water.   
  
Rose gave a chuckle. “Don’t be. My life flashed in front of my eyes and halfway through it I just got bored. Drowning was a highlight.”   
  
Jonathon knew exactly what she was talking about because for him it was the same thing. “Me too actually. It was kind of nice to do something productive for a change.”   
  
“You were right. Before, when you said I was pathetic for staying with my mum.” Rose shivered as she continued. “I am loser.”   
  
Jonathon wished he could take back those words, especially considering that her mother was sick. He felt horrible for saying that to her. “Well, you were right. About my book being soulless. And about me being blocked. Guess I’m the bigger loser.”   
  
“I’m definitely the bigger loser,” Rose insisted. She wasn’t joking that when she said halfway through her flashbacks she got bored. Besides today, the most exciting thing she did was follow Jimmy, and look at how that turned out.   
  
Jonathon, though, felt like she was nowhere near being pathetic when he was the king of it. And for some reason he had to argue about it. “No, no,” he insisted. “I’m the bigger loser.”   
  
'Good lord,' Rose thought. 'Are we really going to argue over who’s a bigger loser?!'   
  
Rose rolled her eyes before looking up at him. “Do you always have to be so damn competitive?”   
  
Jonathon thought about it for a moment. “Yes.”   
  
~*~  
  
Saxon sat on the couch in the room of the little Bed and Breakfast he eventually found. Having dried off from his earlier adventure, he opened his laptop and clicked a few buttons. Part of being the best in his field was covering all your bases, and Saxon was an expert at that. He had long ago tapped into both Renée and Jonathon’s phone lines, and though he didn’t use it often, he used it every now and then. This was one of those times.   
  
He zipped through Jonathon’s voicemail account (how many times does Random House have to call him?) until he heard Renée talking. “Jonathon, I’m so sorry. I cannot get into the castle. That moment though, in your book, the part when they kiss for the first time? Meet me in that spot. Bring the priest and the rings. I love you, Jonathon. I do love–”  
  
Saxon stopped there. He didn’t need to hear Renée telling that lowlife that she loved him. He reached into his bag, though, and pulled out Jonathon’s book. He opened it up and started to quickly scan the book, hoping that the main characters’ first kiss is near the beginning of the story.   
  
~*~  
  
“You know,” Jackie said, not as strongly as she would have liked, “I do know this area. I could find my home without you pulling me along.”   
  
“I insist,” Renée said with a firm grip on Jackie’s arm. Renée was going in the opposite direction of Jackie’s house, but she knew what the young woman wanted to talk to her about. Jackie knew instantly who it was when she saw Renée punch that editor.   
  
Trying to lighten the mood, Jackie said, “I thought you were wonderful in 'The Girl in the Fireplace.'”   
  
Renée wasn’t listening and stopped walking when they reached the edge of a cliff. The drop wasn’t too high, but all the rocks below would most certainly kill a person if they ever jumped off. Renée took off her scarf and glasses before she glared at Jackie. “Thank you for getting the word out about my wedding,” she said sarcastically.   
  
Jackie, knowing that what she had done was wrong, tried to go for light. “How did it go?”   
  
“It did not, thanks to you.”   
  
Jackie looked away, feeling guilty for what she had done. When it was just a woman in a magazine, it didn't seem like it was so horrible to do. Now that she was talking to the woman, Jackie’s insides twisted.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose and Jonathon ran up the steps of Rose’s house. She opened the door and yelled out, “Mum!? Are you home?” When there was no response, Rose walked further in and gestured for Jonathon to follow.   
  
“I don’t think anyone is home. Go down the hall there and into the kitchen. I’ll bring some towels.”   
  
Jonathon nodded and followed her directions. He looked around, admiring the well used furniture and the pictures of Rose on the wall, each one showing her getting older. The kitchen was tiny, but he guessed for the two of them it was enough. The walls were painted yellow, but they needed a new coat of paint. Jonathon briefly wondered what happened to Rose’s father.   
  
He wasn’t in the kitchen long when Rose came in holding two navy blue towels that were stacked on top of each other. She put them down, and with everything that was happening, she didn’t see a note from her mother that read, ‘Gone to get rich and drunk. Back later — perhaps. xo Mum.’ Instead, she turned to face him, and for a moment neither of them breathed. This was the closet they have been–when they were both conscious–and Rose couldn’t help but flush a little. He was a handsome man, even if what he said to her earlier made her want to punch him. And she could understand that he was just having a terrible, terrible day. He was supposed to get married and instead he got a decoy.   
  
Rose looked behind him where she saw some linens her mother must of put up before she left hanging on a wire. Rose walked as quickly as she could to the wall and lowed it enough that there was some privacy between them.   
  
Now separated, thanks to a piece of bed sheet, Rose simply said, “Can you -?” while gesturing to the towel. Jonathon handed her one and when she said thanks, he nodded before stepping back behind the sheets.   
  
Rose held her breath. Was she really going to undress when Jonathon was little just two feet away? Yes, there was something blocking her view of him–and of his view of her–but still. This was horribly intimate. The last time she took her clothes off while in the same room with a man was when she was engaged to Jimmy. And they hadn’t had sex in a long time.   
  
With the towel, Rose dried herself off, but all she could think of what that Jonathon was doing the same thing right next to her. When she heard what had to be the zipper of his pants, she actually stopped breathing. He was really undressing, wasn’t he? Rose turned away so that her back was too him. She heard the plop of his wet pants hitting the floor and she closed her eyes. 'I’m just helping him out,' she thought. 'He saved my life and I’m going to get him out of his clothes. His *wet* clothes! Just his wet ones!'   
  
Oh, this was getting embarrassing. Rose dropped her towel and started working getting the garters off. Once that was finished, she started to unbutton the back of the dress, but it was difficult. Jabe and Angie buttoned it up earlier and Rose wasn’t paying attention when they did it. She didn’t realize that it was all buttoned. She had to get help.   
  
Turning back around, she took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the sheet. “Knock, knock,” she said.   
  
Jonathon peeked around the sheet as Rose turned around. Without speaking, she told him her problem. If she was facing him, she would have seen him take a deep breath before pulling the sheet aside so that he could unfasten the buttons that were going down her spine.   
  
And she would have seen how he was staring at her.   
  
There was something about this woman that was driving Jonathon crazy. He loved Renée, there was no denying that, but something about Rose made his heart race in a different way. Renée was perfect in every single way. She had the perfect hair, the perfect eyes, the perfect mouth, the perfect body. She was caring, loving, brilliant, wonderful. But something about Rose made him actually look twice at her.   
  
Rose was raw. She was real. She wasn’t perfect. Her lips were a bit bigger than they needed to be and her nose was flat at the tip. But she had the most beautiful hazel eyes he has ever seen. But, she talked back to him. And she yelled at him. And more than once Jonathon has gotten the impression that she wanted to smack him–not that he didn’t deserve it, but still, it was a look he was not used to seeing. And he knew that he shouldn’t, he knew that it was wrong, but for some reason his hands shook a little as they unfasten the buttons on what was left of her dress.   
  
He loved Renée, he really did. She was what he always wanted. Or was she? Jonathon thought he knew, but as the day went on, he began questioning himself. Was he marrying Renée because he loved her and couldn’t imagine his life without her? Or was he marrying her because she chose him and being the gentleman that he is, he couldn’t say no?   
  
When he was finally done, he lightly touched the sleeves of the dress to help it go down. Once they were free, the dress fell to the floor instantly. Rose was wearing a body slip that was neutral color and even though it wasn’t tremulously sexy, Jonathon found that it still kind of was.   
  
Rose turned around and looked at him. With his dried hair flopping over and only wearing an undershirt and boxer shorts, she couldn’t help but admire him.   
  
Rose briefly wondered what he would look like with no clothes on, but she quickly dismissed that thought. To make sure that he didn’t notice her flaming face, Rose looked again at his boxer shorts and asked, “Quills?”   
  
Jonathon glanced down and gave a slight grin. His shorts were light blue and covered in old fashioned ink cartridges and quills. “Christmas gift from Renée. She thought it would help with the writing.”   
  
Rose just nodded before they both turned around and continued drying off with their respected towels.   
  
~*~  
  
Renée was still standing on the edge of the cliff with Jackie, who was clutching the money she had gained from selling Renée ’s story. She made quite a lot, actually. Enough for her to go away for a long, long time. And stay at some really posh places.   
  
“Throw the money over or you are going to go over the cliff,” Renée bargained. Jackie didn’t move, just held onto the money tighter. Renée leaned in closer and asked, “Did you hear me?”   
  
Jackie nodded. “Yes, I heard you.” She paused. “I’m thinking about it.”   
  
Finally, though, Jackie realized what she had to do. What the right thing was. So, with a deep breath, Jackie threw the money over the cliff and watched as it flew all around, some landing on rocks while others continued down into the water.   
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon was sitting on his knees by the fireplace, where Rose had started a fire a few minutes ago. She went off to make them tea, to help warm them up. They were both still wearing their towels. His clothes from the wedding were ruined. The shirt was filthy and the one arm was ripping at the seams. The pants were worse. They were all cut up and beyond filthy. Rose was sure they had something he could borrow. He sure hoped so. He didn’t want to go out in his underwear.  
  
A few minutes later, Rose came in holding two cups of steaming tea. She handed one to Jonathon before sitting down in front of him, so they were facing each other. Looking around the almost bare room, Rose commented, “It needs…everything.”   
  
Jonathon also glanced around. Sure, it wasn’t anything compared to what he has or what Renée grew up with, but it still had its own charm. The furniture was not only worn, it was also much too big for this space. The television in the corner was outdated and there were millions of rings on the coffee table. The only art work was pieces Rose must have done as a child. Still, the room was like Rose. What you see is what you get. “I like it,” Jonathon said, giving a slight grin.   
  
He saw on the wall a calendar where a young man was smiling into the camera, leaning against a car. There was a huge X over his face. “June really is the cruelest month.”   
  
Rose turned to see what he was talking about. “Oh. Poor Mickey. My mum did that so I would see that he…he moved on.”   
  
Worried he said something wrong, he said, “I’m sorry, was he…?”   
  
“No. No. Probably would have, if another man didn’t enter the picture. Jimmy, his name was. My ex-fiancé.” Rose realized that she was saying too much, but she didn’t care. It was nice to talk to someone who had no idea what she went through, or any of her past. No judgments. “He was in a band. They just had a top forty hit named 'Bed Hopper.'”   
  
The fiancé cheated on her. No wonder she was against men. Jonathon shrugged lightly, trying to make this uncomfortable situation a tad bit funny. “So, the clues were there.”   
  
Rose glanced off in the distance. “I thought he was being ironic.” After a moment she shook herself out of it. “Stupid. But I also thought he liked girls, who you know, give intelligent feedback.” She paused and Jonathon grimaced in sympathy. Rose took a sip of her tea before saying, “He told me that I wasn’t a whole album, just one song. So, now I’m finished with relationships.”   
  
“Well, you know,” Jonathon said, trying to give her hope. “They say that it’s when you stop looking that you…”   
  
“Get married?” she finished, giving a grin with her tongue in between her teeth.   
  
He tried not to stare at her mouth as he gave a laugh. “Yeah.”   
  
For the first time in a really long time, Rose was comfortable. Jonathon seemed to have a calming presence on her. At least, now he does. Before not so much. “Actually, marriage is becoming quite bearable. As least the fact that you are going to leave me for another woman has already been discussed and agreed upon.”  
  
Jonathon smiled. He liked that she was able to find humor in everything. That she wasn’t taking this too seriously, this situation they found themselves in. It was…odd to say the least, but at least Rose was able to laugh about it. He wondered, if the roles were switched, if Rose was Renée and Renée was Rose, if Renée would be able to laugh about it. He wasn’t sure that she could.   
  
Rose leaned in a bit. “What is she like? I suppose she’s just like everyone else, right?”   
  
Jonathon shook his head, trying to get Rose out of it. He was marrying Renée. He was in love with Renée. Somehow though Rose kept sneaking her way back in. “No, no. She’s rare, and fine, and peculiar, and modest, and generous, and really, really nice. And brilliant.”   
  
Rose raised her eyebrows.   
  
“At everything,” Jonathon finished lamely. He sounded like he just made this woman up.   
  
Rose thought about it for a moment. “But,” she asked picking up the teaspoon she had in her tea. “Can she do this?” she breathed on the top of the spoon and raising her eyebrows towards Jonathon, slowly laid the spoon on the tip of her nose. She moved her hand away slowly and smiled as the spoon stayed on her nose.   
  
Jonathon chuckled before biting his lip, thinking. “No. No, I don’t think she can.”   
  
The spoon fell from Rose’s nose and landed in her lap. She let out a laugh that Jonathon couldn’t help but join in. It was then he realized he was in danger.   
  
He *liked* Rose.   
  
~*~  
  
Renée had wiped off all of her make-up. When she was finished, Jackie stared at her stunned. “Did you really do all of that with powder and wax?” Jackie had to ask. It was so perfectly done; she couldn’t believe that it was accomplished with things Jackie could find in her own home.   
  
“Yes. Is it off?”   
  
“Yes. You’re very beautiful.” After a moment, Jackie continued saying, “I need to get off this island, you see. I need to get away. I’m sick. The doctors tell me I have less than a year, and I want to see more than this,” she said, gesturing to the island in general. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, or cause you to call off the wedding. Again. I just needed the money so I could see the world before I die.”   
  
Instead of being sympathetic, Renée’s eyes opened with shock. “Oh my! I know who you are!”   
  
Jackie didn’t know how to respond to that. She just told Renée this really personal thing and that’s how she responds? With a comment that makes no sense?   
  
“From Jonathon’s book,” Renée clarifies. “I know who you are! You are Donna Noble, the main character’s love interest from 'Quick Responses'! Jonathon based her on you! Donna, who would not bend, who turned on her oppressors!” Renée finished excitedly.  
  
Jackie had read this book a long time ago. She couldn’t even remember a character named Donna. But, if it helped her chances of getting out of this without being sued, Jackie would play along. “Yep. That’s me.”   
  
Renée lightly touched Jackie’s arm and said seriously, “You have always been such an inspiration to me.”   
  
Jackie looked down at the arm before looking back up at Renée. She had no idea what this woman was talking about, but Jackie just smiled and nodded. “Thanks.”   
  
~*~  
  
Back at the Burrow Media Centre, the editor for Star’s Today gathered all the reporters around him and made the following announcement: “I’ve just been punched in the face by the most beautiful woman in the world, who is now walking around outside dressed as my old boarding school matron. I will pay two hundred grand for that cover shot. Go and get it.”  
  
The reporters all grabbed their stuff and ran towards the exit.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose was pulling the laundry they had hanging up in the kitchen down, folding it and then placed in a wicker basket when she heard someone cough behind her. She turned around and gave a grin when she saw Jonathon standing there in blue striped pajamas, the only men’s clothing they had in the house. Rose had no idea where they came from; she found them in a drawer in her mother’s room, though she just told Jonathon that she found them in a trunk. They were obviously from a man her mother had over, but that had to be years ago. Still, no point in telling Jonathon that.   
  
“How do I look?” Jonathon asked turning around in a circle as he walked over to her.   
Rose gave him a smile with a little bit of tongue in between her tongue. He really liked when she smiled like that.   
  
“You look great. I really do like the look though. Ready for bed,” Rose said as she handed him back his shoes, which were stained but still wearable.   
  
He took them with a grin of his own. “What would I do without you?” They looked at each other for a moment and Rose swore time stopped. She knew her breathing stopped. Damn this man for making her interested when she swore off men completely just 24 hours prior.   
  
They jumped away from each other when they heard a woman shout, “Rose! Are you home?” Jonathon moved away from Rose before sitting at the kitchen table to put his shoes on. “Rose?!” the woman shouted again.   
  
“I’m in here,” Rose shouted back.   
  
As Jackie walked to the kitchen, she said, “Rose, there is money on Whale Beach, enough for us to go away! But we have to get there before the tide comes in.” She stopped short when she saw Jonathon stand up. “Howard?”   
  
“No, Mum,” Rose said, looking at Jonathon and then back to her mother. “No, this is my…” she paused and then figured, what the hell, might as tell her. “Husband.”   
  
“Husband?!” Jackie’s eyebrows reached the top of her hairline. “What are you on about?”   
  
“It’s been a bit crazy,” Jonathon said, stepping forward. “Hello,” he stuck his hand out for a handshake. “I’m Jonathon.”   
  
Jackie put her hand into his before letting go quickly. “Why is he wearing Howard’s jim-jams?”   
  
“Who’s Howard?” Jonathon asked as Rose said, “It’s part of a long story, Mum. He got wet before. Well, we both did. This was the only men’s outfit I could find.”   
  
“Is Howard your father?” Jonathon asked Rose.   
  
“No. No, my father’s name was Pete. He died when I was a kid,” Rose said simply. She would have been more focused on telling him if it wasn’t for the fact that so much was going on and she didn’t know what to pay attention to.   
  
“Oh. I’m sorry for your lose.”   
  
“Will someone please tell me what is going on?!” Jackie asked, her voice rising.   
  
“Well, we were trying to look for Jonathon’s girlfriend–” Rose started before Jackie interrupted.   
  
“Girlfriend! He has a girlfriend? You married a man who has a girlfriend?!” Jackie paused asking lower, “But what happened to toilet man? Is this him?”  
  
Jonathon focused on Rose, noting that she blushed brightly. Obviously she didn’t want him to know that she talked about him to her mother. That thought made him giddy, actually. The idea that Rose talked about him, as though she might have been interested.   
  
“What?” Rose asked, playing for stupid.   
  
“The man you made a pass at in the toilet!” Jackie confirmed.   
  
Rose blushed deeper. “Nothing. No. Nothing happened.” Changing topics, Rose asked, “Um, why is there money on Whale Beach?”   
  
“Renée Poisson made me throw all the money I made from selling her story about her wedding over a cliff. Listen to this, she never got married! She told me that she’s on her way now to Cathedral Cove to meet her fiancé, Jonathon.” Just when she said his name, Jackie’s eyes looked at the man standing behind her daughter. Rose looked highly uncomfortable as the man’s lips pursed. “Jonathon?”   
  
“Indeed,” he said angrily as he turned to Rose. And to think that he really like this woman when she was using him the whole time! “Very clever, I have to admit. So you manufactured this whole situation, huh? Big sack of money for selling the story, another for playing the decoy, and then when it’s all over, the same again for setting the record straight! That’s quite an industry you’ve made out of ruining other people’s happiness!”   
  
Rose quickly tried to defend herself. “This is not–”  
  
Jonathon cut her off, not caring to hear her viewpoint. “Making cow eyes at me for hours just added for a spicier story, huh?!”   
  
“Cow eyes!?” Rose yelled, but Jonathon wasn’t finished.   
  
“Let me tell you, in order for a honey trap to work, there needs to be honey.” With that, Jonathon stormed right past them and out the front door.  
  
Jonathon had no clue where he was going, or even what direction to head in. All he knew was that he had to get out of there. How could she? How could Rose use him like that? And to think that he was actually starting to like her?! That actually made things worse for him. It made sense, though, when he thought about it. Rose told him that her mother was sick and that’s why she was doing this. Her mum must have sold the story, hoping to make enough money to get out of here. Not that he could blame her. After this day, he hoped he never set foot on it again.   
  
He walked into a wheat field, or maybe it was just really high weeds, looking around. It started drizzling, not helping him. He had no idea where he or even what direction he was going in.   
  
And tripping over a hedgehog didn’t help.

 


	5. Chapter 5

“Do you like him?”   
  
Jackie and Rose were sitting at the kitchen table. It’s only been five minutes since Jonathon stormed out of there, and Rose can’t help but feel like her house got somehow smaller once he left.   
  
Rose was holding her chin in the palm of her hand. Without moving her head, she looked at her mother. “He’s an emotionally retarded artsy boy who’s in love with another woman.” She sighed. “Of course I like him.”   
  
“Did you tell him?”   
  
Rose looked down at the table. Jackie knew what that meant. She reached over and took Rose’s other hand that was lying on the table. “A life spent making mistakes is so much better than a life spent doing nothing. Falling for your father…I used to think it was a mistake, but I know now it wasn’t. I loved him, I really did. And out of him, I got you. My mistake, however, was not telling him when he was alive how much I loved and adored him.”   
  
Rose shook her head. “You and Daddy were different. Jonathon and I…it would never work.”   
  
“But how do you know if you don’t go after him? The way he looked at you when I mentioned about the toilet boy…Well, let’s just say if he did marry Renée, he’d be an idiot.”  
  
~*~  
  
Sitting on a rock along the beach, Saxon was still reading from that damn book. And he was trying not to fall asleep. This book seemed to go on forever, and made no sense whatsoever. It was if the moron author had no idea about this island until he arrived yesterday.   
  
Saxon shot his head up when he felt himself dozing again. He blinked a couple of times before skimming through the book again.   
  
“Where the hell do these stupid people kiss?”   
  
~*~  
  
Still completely lost, Jonathon finally located a house. He had no idea where he was, or whose house it belonged to, but right now, it was good enough. He stumbled over to it (damn hedgehogs; Rose wasn’t kidding. There are everywhere) and rang the doorbell. It was a tiny place; Renée’s pool house was bigger. An elderly man opened the door and smiled when he saw Jonathon.   
  
“Hello. I was wondering if you could help me. Oh, okay,” Jonathon said when the man pulled him inside. “Is there a cathedral nearby or something? I’m rather lost.”   
  
The man didn’t answer. He gestured happily to Jonathon before walking as quickly as he could to another doorway. Without a word, he pulled an elderly woman into the room who smiled when she saw Jonathon.   
  
Jonathon, not having a clue on what was going on (though that seemed to be the theme of the day) smiled weakly. “Oh great,” he muttered to himself. “I’ve been recognized.” Louder, he said, “Yes, I’m Jonathon Arbor, and yes I’m marrying Renée Poisson.” He tilted his head to the side. “Well, probably. Anyway, if you could not mention to anyone that I’m here or mention it to the press, I would be grateful.” Again, the couple didn’t seem to hear him. They gestured to each other and the man pointed silently to a desk off to the side. The woman walked over to it, opened it and took something out. Jonathon sighed. They probably wanted him to sign his book. He tried not think about how Rose would respond to that. “All right, yes.”   
  
He took what they handed it, but it wasn’t a book. It was an album. Of a young man, probably early twenties, holding a bagpipe. The name across it was JIMMY STONE. “Oh!” Jonathon said, showing them the album and pointing to himself. “No, no, no! That’s not me! That’s Rose’s ex-fiancé!”   
  
Again, they didn’t seem to hear them. They gestured to the album and then handed him a pen. He looked closer at the boy. Except for being tall, thin, and having brown hair, they didn’t look a thing alike. Maybe these people had cataracts or something and couldn’t see correctly.   
  
He was about to correct them again, but they were both smiling so lovingly at him, he didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth. 'What the hell,' he thought. One little white lie isn’t going to kill them. Clicking the pen, he asked, “So, who should I make it out to?” When they didn’t answer, he shrugged. “Okay, I’ll just leave it blank for eBay or something.” He signed Jimmy and an x. He didn’t want to get in trouble if the real Jimmy Stone found out. Although, if this guy was playing bagpipes, he wasn’t going to go too far.   
  
He handed them back the album, which they took gratefully. “I’ll be going along in a moment, you’ve been very kind. But if you had a map of Burrow or something that I could use?” Instead of answering, they smiled at each other and the woman pointed to a chest off to the side. The man walked hastily over to it before opening it up and taking out what was inside. Bagpipes.   
  
“Oh no, no, no, no, no,” Jonathon said when he saw the man coming closer to him. “No, I couldn’t.” The man handed him the instrument, and once again Jonathon didn’t have the heart to tell them no. “I’m kind of rusty, actually.” He was trying to figure out how to hold it when something caught his eye.   
  
He looked up, and the man and woman were dancing so wonderfully, so lovingly, that Jonathon couldn’t help but watch them. They looked like the type of couple who have done everything together, and the way they looked at each other…Jonathon’s heart swelled. It was so beautiful. He wanted that. He wanted to be old and gray and have so many wrinkles, but also to have his wife who still looked at him like he hung the moon. And for some reason, he couldn’t see that happening with Renée.   
  
Renée was wonderful and brilliant, but she wasn’t the type of person you could imagine growing old with. He figured that she would be the woman who grew old gracefully and didn’t seem to have a wrinkle, because she made sure that she didn’t. Not to be vain, but because looks were everything in her business. And he couldn’t ask her to give up what she wanted. Adam was right before when he said only Jonathon and Renée believed that she was retiring. Renée wouldn’t be able to go through with it, she loved it so much.   
  
For some reason, for a reason he didn’t want to think about too deeply, he imagined Rose. Rose, laughing with a spoon on her nose. Rose, getting snarky and yelling at him. Rose, telling him that his writing sucks and he should write what he knows, what he’s interested in. Rose was the type of woman he could imagine growing old with. He could just see him and her bantering over stupid things like who didn’t do the dishes, and then the next minute kissing each other passionately. Because, he would be lying if it didn’t admit that he thought about her kissing her before now. He thought about it when he was unbuttoning the dress that should have come off of Renée. He thought about it when she placed the spoon on her nose and laughed. He thought about it when he was showing off the pajamas and watched as she grinned and did that thing where she places her tongue in between her teeth. It drove him crazy when she did that, and he didn’t even think she knew it.   
  
“Beautiful,” he murmured, still watching the couple in front of him dance to music that only they could hear. “Both deaf.”   
  
The woman looked up at Jonathon and noticed that he wasn’t playing. Gesturing for him to continue, Jonathon quickly fixed the bagpipe, thinking he got it right. “Okay, one more.”   
  
He blew into the pipe hard and a sharp noise came out. It was good thing they were both deaf, because it was terrible.   
  
It was actually a good thing that he was playing the bagpipes, because that’s what caught Rose’s attention as she walked around the island, trying to find Jonathon himself. The only house nearby belonged to the Williams’, and since they were both deaf, there was no reason for such a sound to come from them.   
  
She walked over to the house, the noise getting louder and infinitely worse. Who could be playing the bagpipes so terribly that it sounded like a wounded animal?   
  
She should have known. Looking through the window, she saw Jonathon trying to play the bagpipes (and still in the jim-jams) while Rory and Amy Williams danced around the tiny living room. When she got to the door, she rang the doorbell that raised a flag inside the house so the couple knew someone was at the door. The music stopped as Rory answered.   
  
Rose waved hello before signing, ‘Hello Rory. Hello Amy. Mild out, isn’t it?”   
  
Rory signed back, ‘Global warming.’   
  
Rose nodded with her right fist, agreeing. She pointed to Jonathon. ‘I heard my husband playing the bagpipe.’ They glanced over at Jonathon, who placed the bagpipes back from where it came from, and looked at Rose confused. She signed, ‘It’s a long story.’   
  
Jonathon walked over to Amy and gently picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles before shaking Rory’s hand and walking out. They both waved good-bye as Rory closed the door.   
  
He tried to calm his heart down as he said, “Thanks for that. I was actually coming to find you.”   
  
Rose filled up with hope. “Really?”   
  
“Yeah. I think we need to get a divorce.”   
  
Rose tried not to look so deflated as she said, “Right. Yeah, of course.” She shook her head before saying louder, “We should go find Reverend Jones. She’ll know what to do.”   
  
~*~  
  
Back in the castle, Astrid leaned over the railing to look at Adam who was sitting on the bottom step holding 'Quick Responses.'   
  
“Okay,” she said, looking nervous. “Don’t flip out. But I just checked and Jonathon and that woman…well, they’ve escaped.”   
  
Adam stared calmly at Astrid before looking casually down at the book on his lap. Then, making a complete 180, Adam ripped opened the book and tried to ripe it in half. He only succeeded in ripping out a few pages. The book was too thick to rip in half. He then threw the remaining book on the floor.   
  
Rubbing his hands over his face, he tried to think of an idea. “We need local intelligence,” he said through his fingers. Someone must have popped into him mind because he sat up straighter, snapped his fingers, and pointed to Astrid yelling, “Who was that awful woman we met when we first arrived?! The one who wanted us to pay her for directions?”   
  
~*~  
  
The ‘awful’ woman Adam was referring to was Jackie. Astrid and Jackie raced to her house, the first place they saw her, but she wasn’t home. The quickly found her behind the counter of the store next door.   
  
However, she wasn’t being much help. “I don’t know where they are!” Jackie lied. She wasn’t sure what exactly her daughter’s relationship was with that man, but whatever it was, Jackie was going to defend it until her last breath. “They haven’t been here.”   
  
Adam leaned forward on the table. “See, here’s the thing. I don’t believe you.”  
  
Jackie sighed. “Look, they could be anywhere by now.”   
  
Adam leaned closer. “But I think you know where they are. And I think, for the right price, you’ll tell me.”   
  
Jackie gave him a look. Yes, she sold the story about Renée ’s wedding, but Jackie Tyler loved her daughter more than anything, and she would protect both Rose and that Jonathon bloke. Besides, Jackie kind of wanted to see this man go on a scavenger hunt. So, she did what any mother would have done in her shoes.   
  
She lied.   
  
~*~  
  
“I didn’t sell the story of your wedding,” Rose said as Jonathon and she walked across the island, heading to Reverend Jones. “My mother did. Not that what she did was right or, you know, moral, but she’s dying and she’s pissed about that.”   
  
“Oh,” Jonathon said, feeling guilty. He could kind of see why her mother would sell the story now. And why Rose pretended to be the bride. He knew that Rose's mother was sick, but he didn't realize it was terminal. “I’m sorry.”   
  
“She just wants to see the world before she goes.”   
  
Jonathon could understand that need also.   
  
They walked close to where they first met, the public toilets. “Oh look,” Rose teased when she saw it. “It’s my country resistance.”   
  
Jonathon chuckled. Did he really think that…shack was Rose’s home? He shook his head, thinking about how stupid he was. Well, it wasn’t every day a beautiful woman quite literally popped out of nowhere. Jonathon was thrown off when he saw Rose for the first time.  
  
Before Jonathon could comment, however, he saw four photographers coming over a hill. Grabbing Rose’s arm, he quickly pulled her into the building. Once inside, he continued to pull her into the stall where Rose was first hiding. Crouching down, they waited until the photographers had passed.   
  
Unfortunately for them, the paparazzi walked in. “Where in God’s name are we?”   
  
One of them held up the book they were holding. “This book says this is a wildlife centre.”   
  
“I don’t believe a bloody word, what with your map skills,” replied the first one.   
  
“Nah,” said the second. “It’s this book. It’s got it all wrong. And it’s so heavy!”   
  
Rose and Jonathon, still crutched down, looked at each other and tried not to laugh. They literally held back giggles and the men kept complaining about the book.   
  
However, one of the photographers heard them and yelled out, “Hello?! Anybody there!?”   
  
Rose put up her hood and tied the strings. She grabbed a pot and a stick. With a motion of putting her finger to her lip, she motioned for Jonathon to stay quiet until she was done. Then she threw open the stall door, started banging on the pat, and yelled, “Incomers! Incomers!” like a mad woman.   
  
It did the job though. The paparazzi all stepped back, obviously not wanting to get involved with the crazy lady. “Sorry, love,” the first man said. “We didn’t realize anyone lived here.”   
  
Trying to sound nuts, Rose said even louder, “I’ll throw another puffin on the griddle for ya!”  
  
“No thanks,” they all said before turning around and literally running out the door.   
  
Rose dropped the spoon and the pot and started untying the strings of her hood when she heard Jonathon joke, “Griddled puffin? On a Friday?” He opened the door to the stall and leaned against the doorframe. Rose tried not to notice how…well, how handsome he was standing there in blue striped jim-jams and expensive Italian shoes. She shouldn’t be turned on by a grin, but apparently no one told her heart that.   
  
Rose gave him a tongue-touched grin that made his heart race and she nodded, accepting his version of a thank you.   
  
He looked around the bathroom as though it was a place he cherished. “Ah, our first home,” he smiled. “What a life we could have had.”   
  
Rose looked around. She would never be able to enter this building without thinking about him. Hell, she wouldn’t be able to go anywhere on this island without thinking of him. She sighed. The future looked extremely lonely.   
  
But, still grinning, Rose agreed before saying, “Come on. Let’s go.”   
  
With the smile still attached to his face, Jonathon followed her out.   
  
About twenty minutes later, they were walking through tall weeds when Jonathon asked, “Do you really think this reverend will be able to help us?”   
  
“Well,” Rose said, trying to make sure she didn’t trip over a hedgehog. “I don’t remember going to her with a similar problem. But yes.” At least she hoped she could. Okay, she kind of hoped she could. Not that she wanted to get married to Jonathon by mistake, but maybe if the Reverend couldn’t help, he’d have to stay around longer.   
  
This kind of thinking was going to get her into trouble.   
  
Standing on top of a hill, they admired the ocean view. “There’s something about islands, isn’t there?” Rose asked, trying for small talk. “Or is it just because I’m from one?”   
  
They continued down the hill and walked over to a little brick wall. “No,” Jonathon said as they neared the wall. “There’s something about islands.”   
  
“And this is just Burrow, we’re the plain jane’s of islands. You should see Barra, it’s stunning.”   
  
Jonathon jumped on top of a piece of concrete that was lower than the rest of the wall. “I like this one.” He looked around before looking down at Rose. “I wish I came here sooner.”   
  
Rose blushed, but couldn’t imagine what would have happened if they meant sooner. If they met before Jimmy and Renée. Rose smiled, however, at the indication that maybe what she was feeling wasn’t one-sided.  
  
Before they could discuss what he just said, however, someone pulled Jonathon by the legs, pulling him inside the fenced-off area.   
  
“Stay away from her city boy!” Mickey Smith yelled before punched Jonathon in the face.   
  
“Mickey!” Rose yelled. She was horrified by his actions. “What do you think you are doing?”   
  
Jonathon, who was lying on the ground, rubbed his chin. “Mister June?”   
  
Mickey looked down at this man, this man that he has seen Rose with all day. He didn’t know if he came from the city exactly, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t like the way Jonathon was looking at Rose. It made Mickey’s stomach twist with jealousy when he saw Rose smiling back. “You come over here, taking our women!”   
  
“Your women!?” Rose yelled, annoyed.   
  
Mickey looked at Rose quickly before going to attack Jonathon again, but he rolled away before Mickey got anywhere near him.   
  
“Mickey, don’t!” Rose yelled, pulling him away from Jonathon.   
  
Jonathon stood up and tried to clean the hay off of his pants when he heard Mickey ask desperately, “Run away with me? I never thought I had a chance with you, until you came back to the island and then…marry me?”   
  
Rose looked at Mickey like he just became a huge green monster that farted. “Mickey, you are *married.* To Martha.”   
  
“But I don’t want her,” Mickey confessed. “I’ve never wanted her. I’ve always wanted you.”   
  
Jonathon saw how uncomfortable Rose was becoming and before he knew it, he spoke up, saying sarcastically, “Shame, it is! You’re married. She’s married. N’aw, that’s a tragedy.” It wasn’t until he finished that he realized he was jealous. Jonathon was actually jealous that another man was proposing to Rose!   
  
Mickey looked at Rose, stunned. “You’re married?” Rose gave a light nod. “To who?”   
  
“To me!” Jonathon yelled smugly, indicating himself.   
  
Mickey, eyes almost popping out of his head, turned back to Rose. “Is this true?”   
  
Rose gave a nod. “Yeah. It’s a bit of a long story.”   
  
Mickey looked at Rose before turning towards Jonathon. “Okay. I’ll fight you for her!”   
  
“No!” both Rose and Jonathon yelled. Jonathon continued by saying, “I don’t fight.”   
  
“Fine!” Now it was Mickey’s turn to be smug. “I keep her.” And before either Rose or Jonathon could react, Mickey launched himself at the other man. The struggle was barely even that, but it was enough for Jonathon to punch Mickey in the jaw, sending him backwards onto the hay behind him.   
  
Rose held Jonathon back by lightly touching his chest. Both Mickey and Jonathon were breathing deeply, and when Mickey caught his breath, he said to Rose, “I wanted to grow old with you. You’re beautiful and clever now. It’s easy to love you now. But I’ll still love you when the wind’s dried you out, and when you’re old and broken.” He looked at Jonathon. “Will he?”   
  
Rose could barely look at Jonathon, fearing his answer. Jonathon was thinking about the couple he saw back at the house. The old dancing couple. He thought of himself dancing around with his wife, but he wondered who would be his dancing partner would be. His eyes briefly looked over at Rose.   
  
Taking a deep breath, Rose said, “Mickey, I’m sorry. Go back to Martha, sort it out. She loves you. It’s better when they love you back.”   
  
“So, do you love him?” Mickey asked, nodding towards Jonathon.   
  
Jonathon looked at Rose, waiting for any kind of reaction. But she gave none. She remained stone face.   
  
Finally, she walked towards Mickey, holding her hand out. “Come on,” she said, wanting to help him up.   
  
Instead, Mickey looked down and lightly patted the hay. “I’m fine where I am.”   
  
Rose nodded before giving him a tiny smile and turning towards Jonathon to continue their journey together.   
  
After ten minutes, Jonathon wanted to say something, but what could he say. 'Sorry about getting into a fight with your ex-boyfriend?' 'Would you have gone back to him if you weren’t in this situation? And he wasn’t already married?' 'Why didn’t you answer his last question?' That one burned his mind. It was on the tip of his tongue. He wanted so badly to ask, to get some kind of answer. But he was terrified of the response. What would he do if she said no? What would he do if she said yes? He had no answer for either.   
  
Walking up another hill, they stopped to admire the view. The sun was going down, making the sky look like it was on fire. “Wow,” he said after a moment. “This is just amazing.”   
  
“I used to come out here a lot, on my own,” Rose admitted. She looked up at him and he looked down at her. With so many feelings going on inside, Rose didn’t even know which way was up anymore. It seemed like every time she was able to gather herself around him, he did something to knock her back off scale again. The complicated part was she didn’t know whether or not she liked that.   
  
The moment was becoming too much, though, so Jonathon did what he always does when things got rough: he moved on. He continued walking, not wanting to focus too much on what is happening to him. It was becoming too much.  
  
Silently, they walked the rest of the way to find Reverend Jones.


	6. Chapter 6

"You’ve only been married five minutes and you’re already chasing after another woman!” Reverend Jones commented. “Why not give this marriage a go first?”   
  
Reverend Harriet Jones was a tall thin woman with a thin face and brown eyes. Her honey-colored hair was currently pulled into a ponytail and if it wasn’t for the huge picture of Jesus hanging above the fireplace, no one would ever know that this woman was a reverend based on her appearance.   
  
“He’s actually engaged to Renée Poisson,” Rose said, as though that explained everything. Which it did, but apparently not to the Reverend.   
  
Harriet just stared at her blankly. Jonathon said, “The actress?”   
  
Either Harriet had no idea who they were talking about or she didn’t care. Either way, Rose continued saying, “She’s ultra-beautiful, mind blowing-ly talented,” at that, Jonathon gave a slight nod while Rose continued, “And rare, and fine, and modest, and generous, and nice, and brilliant. At everything.”   
  
At a few of those things, however, Jonathon wasn’t so sure. Yeah, she was copying what he said earlier, but some of them didn’t seem like a good definition of Renée. Rare? What was she, an animal? She was beautiful, yeah, but not rare? Fine? Jonathon grimaced at that. She was elegant, yes, but fine? Maybe not. Modest? To that Jonathon kind of cocked his head to the side. Yeah, she didn’t talk about her awards all the time, but she boast from time to time. 'Sometimes a lot,' he thought. And yes, she was generous and nice, but certainly not to everyone they met. He was pretty sure that before they left for this trip, the waiter at the restaurant they were eating at spit in her food. Brilliant? At everything? Jonathon definitely grimaced at that. No, she had her moments, but not all the time.   
  
The Reverend listened to Rose, but after a moment she pointed out the obvious. “But, he’s married to you.”   
  
“Yeah,” Rose said with a laugh. “A mind blowing-ly ordinary shop girl from Burrow. Bit of a come down.”   
  
“You’re not ordinary,” Jonathon whispered to her. She looked at Jonathon and noticed the look in his eyes. He was serious. He didn’t think she was ordinary at all. Rose wasn’t sure how to process that.   
  
“She could be Miss Universe and she would still be wrong for somebody,” the Reverend said before pouring herself a glass of water. “Weddings are like sunsets, the romance of a moment. Marriage is the sea into which that sun sets.”   
  
“We got married by mistake,” Jonathon felt the need to point out. “Probably not the strongest basis for an enduring marriage.”   
  
“No,” Rose quietly added.   
  
Harriet nodded, seeing that no matter how much she might to force it, they were not determined to stay married. “Well then, in days past the McNeil’s of Barra, huge ginger brutes, would come to Burrow to steal our sheep and snatch a wife at the same time. But, if we could reclaim the woman before consummation, the marriage didn’t count. It’s still in Burrow law.” Both Jonathon and Rose remained silent, hoping that what she meant was that she could help them. Harriet continued, “So, if we can make it to Cathedral Cove by nightfall, your license with Miss Poisson would still be valid, and the original ceremony could go ahead as planned. If that’s what you really want?”  
  
Neither Jonathon nor Rose answered right away. It seemed that neither of them knew what they really wanted.   
  
Jonathon avoided the question and asked one of his own. “How long before it gets dark?”   
  
Harriet glanced out the window. “About half an hour. When God made time, he made plenty of it. When God made twine, he made balls of it.”   
  
Both Jonathon and Rose knitted their eyebrows, trying to figure out if she was being funny or serious. Either way, Harriet continued on, saying, “Well, you think about that while I go and get my things.” She turned around and was going to continue on when a thought stopped her in her tracks. Slowly, she turned around and embarrassed asked, “One last thing. Has the marriage been…consummated?”   
  
Jonathon and Rose shook their heads. “No.” Jonathon continued saying, “I just haven’t had the time.”   
  
Harriet nodded. “When God made time…”  
  
~*~  
  
Jackie stood outside the public toilets, biting her lip to stop her from bursting out laughing. Adam and Astrid were inside the building, thinking that Rose and Jonathon were hiding there. Jackie knew that they were not, but it was so easy to lie to this Adam bloke that Jackie just had to do.   
  
Adam did not realize that he had been had, and walked further into the decrepit bathroom slowly. “Hello?” he called out. Jackie heard him and let out a burst of air, still trying not to laugh.   
  
“Jonathon? You in here? Renée? Are you?” Adam called out, looking more and more freaked out by the second.   
  
“Why did she brings us here?” Astrid asked.   
  
Astrid was standing right behind him, looking around the area. This was the last spot she would think Renée or Jonathon would hide out in, and she thought that perhaps that mother was taking one over on them. She was about to comment when they heard it.   
  
Mooing. It sounded like a cow mooing, except there wasn’t a cow anywhere near this place. Adam’s hand reached behind him for Astrid’s, who took it gladly. She gave a wicked smile. She’ll remember this when she needs blackmail.   
  
~*~  
  
Back in the Reverend’s house, Jonathon and Rose were still waiting for Reverend Jones to finish getting her stuff.   
  
“How do you know you’ve met The One?” Rose asked, turning to Jonathon.   
  
“Every time you look at them, you find yourself singing 'You are the Wind Beneath My Wings',” Jonathon said jokingly. He honestly had no idea. At this moment, he didn’t seem to be the wisest person when it came to matters of the heart.   
  
Rose gave a light chuckle. “Is that what happened with Renée?”   
  
Jonathon was about to say yes, but stopped himself. He can’t remember the last time Renée made him laugh as much as Rose did. Nor could he remember being so comfortable about Renée. She wasn’t stuck up or egotistical, it’s just she wasn’t the be-silly-all-the-time kind of person. Which is fine, but Jonathon couldn’t help but wonder if there was merit to dating someone who could joke about things, and not take everything so seriously.   
  
Trying to convince himself that marrying Renée was the right thing, Jonathon said, “You know, they asked ten thousand men to name their ideal partner and nine thousand eight hundred said Renée. Statistically speaking that includes at least eight hundred gay men. If you’re male and Renée Poisson is interested in you, she’s the one. It’s kind of a rule. If you can’t be happy with Renée Poisson, you can’t be happy with anyone.”   
  
Rose looked skeptical. That didn’t sound a concrete answer. It sounded more like he felt like he had to marry Renée more than he wanted to. Renée was interested in him, therefore he should pledge his life to her, even if he’s not happy? Having never met the woman in question, Rose has no idea what she’s really like. Maybe she’s wonderful and she’ll cure cancer someday, but if he’s making a life decision made on a statistic, then perhaps he should rethink things.   
  
Reverend Jones returned before Rose could question Jonathon’s theory. They walked outside and started heading towards the cove that Jonathon had talked about in his book–that fact he got right.   
  
None of them said anything for a bit, rather just walking in silence. Reverend Jones tried one more time to convince them that what they were doing was wrong. “You sure about this?” she asked. “Because you look like a good match to me.”   
  
Neither Jonathon nor Rose looked at each other. Neither of them wanted to admit that they were rethinking this. Getting married by mistake was not the best way to start a marriage, that was true, but perhaps they could work things out, if they gave it some time. But Jonathon was nothing if not a gentleman and he pledged himself to Renée. He promised her his heart, and he was going to give it to her. He ignored the part of his brain that was telling him that perhaps Renée never truly had his heart, and maybe now someone else did.   
  
~*~  
  
Renée looked around the cove that Jonathon had described in his book. It was just as wonderful as she imagined it. Though she hadn’t heard from him all day, she knew that he would get her message and meet her here. She sat down on a rock and waited, smiling out to the sea.   
  
~*~  
  
Jonathon, Rose, and Reverend Jones stopped walking about fifty feet away from the cove. “We can do it here,” the Reverend said, referring to the divorce ceremony. They nodded.   
  
She opened the little bible she had and looked at Jonathon, who turned to face her. “Do you, Jonathon David Arbor, take Rose Marion Tyler as your lawfully wedded wife?”   
  
Jonathon gave a slight pause before saying, “No.”   
  
The Reverend looked at Rose. “And do you, Rose Marion Tyler, take Jonathon David Arbor to be your lawfully wedded husband?”   
  
“Absolutely not,” Rose said, trying to keep things light. It didn’t work. “No. Thank you.”   
  
Reverend Jones looked at Rose carefully before sighing. “I’ll ask you to return the rings as a symbol that you are indeed,” she lightly shook her head, “not married.”   
  
Neither Jonathon nor Rose moved. They both stared straight ahead, waiting for the other one to make the first move. Rose, taking a deep breath and telling herself not to cry, slowly raised her hand and took off the ring that she has been wearing all day. When she moved, Jonathon did the same, looking down at his, thinking he liked wearing it. They both placed their ring on the bible in front of them, that the Reverend was holding open. Once they were in place, she closed the book.   
  
“Follow soon,” the Reverend said turning to Jonathon. She knew that they were going to talk for a moment, but they didn’t have much time. “We have to hurry.” She looked at both of them one last time before sighing and walking towards the cove.   
  
Jonathon didn’t know what to say. How to you thank someone for all the hell you put them through in the course of a day? How do you thank someone for showing you all you could have, and more? How?   
  
Rose, not wanting to make this moment worse than it already was, turned to him. “Good thing there are no pets involved.”   
  
He could see it in her eyes. She was hurt. She had to be hurt; he chose another woman. This was the second time that a man has left her for another woman. Jonathon hated that he was treating her the same way as her ex-fiancé.   
  
“If I wasn’t in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, after one of the strangest days of my life, I’d…” Jonathon trailed off. He had no idea how to finish that. What would he do? Stay with her? Kiss her? Move here? He couldn’t finish. He lightly shook his head before turning around, following Harriet.   
  
Rose watched him as he walked away. Her mother’s words echoed in her head. 'A life spent making mistakes is so much better than a life spent doing nothing…My mistake, however, was not telling him when he was alive how much I loved and adored him.' She could either fight for him now or have a life of What ifs?  
Before he got too far away, Rose yelled, “Jonathon, wait!” He turned around and walked a few feet closer to her. Not as close as before, but it didn’t matter. She had his attention.   
  
Gathering her courage, she said, “If it doesn’t work out with Renée…I mean, I know she’s perfect, obviously. But…she gives you writer’s block. So maybe you’re not one of the nine thousand eight hundred. That wouldn’t be impossible.” Taking a deep breath, Rose continued, trying to sound strong. “‘Cause then you could not marry her, and you could stay here. With me.”   
  
Jonathon looked so sad. He looked at her, probably properly seeing her for the first time ever. She was so brave, this girl from an island that, until he wrote his book, he never even heard of. And it was tempting, oh was it tempting.   
  
But he couldn’t do it.   
  
He couldn’t back out on Renée. He loved her, he really did. He didn’t have Rose’s courage, or he would run with her now and never look back. But he was planning this life with Renée, his future with her. Could he drop all of that, all that planning, for Rose? No. And simply because he was a coward.   
  
He walked over to her, and he could see the hope in her eyes. But when he bent down to give her a lingering kiss on her forehead, she knew what this meant. He wasn’t actually going to say it, but she knew. She knew.   
  
When he leaned back, Rose tried so desperately not to cry. She laid her heart out in front of him and he threw it back at her. She should have known. How could she compare to Renée Poisson?   
  
She gave him a sad smile. “I know. This is where you tell me that I’m just a chapter, not the whole book.”   
  
He hated this feeling. Hated it so much. He didn’t want to be compared to her ex-fiancé; didn’t want to know that on Burrow Island a lovely woman had her heart broken because of him. Because he wouldn’t back out on an engagement to a woman that he really cared for, and though he loved her, he wasn’t in love with her.   
  
He was about to say something to her, what he had no idea, when he saw something over her shoulder.   
  
Photographers.   
  
Rose turned around to see what he was looking at. She sighed. Now she was getting sick of them. She gently reached up and pushed Jonathon towards Renée. “Go,” she said. He didn’t move. Rose pushed a little harder and gave him a tiny smile. “Go,” she said more forceful.   
  
He nodded and took a couple of steps back. He didn’t want this to be good-bye, but he couldn’t help but think that perhaps it was.   
  
Rose gestured for him to move faster, and when he turned around, Rose half-wanted him to look back. Just once.   
  
He didn’t.   
  
Rose took a deep breath and turned towards the paparazzi. “Hey!” she yelled, getting their attention. “Renée’s not in the castle! They’re getting married now in the haunted toilet! It’s local tradition!” She pointed in front of her. “It’s this way!”   
  
~*~  
  
Carefully making his way now, Jonathon entered the cove to see the Reverend and Renée waiting for him.  
  
No matter what may have happened to him during the day, he ran up to her and asked, “Are you okay?”   
  
She smiled and said, “Yes.” She looked at him and seeing what he was wearing, gave a laugh. “Are you?”   
  
Jonathon had no idea how to another that question. Physical he was fine. Fit as a fiddle. Emotional? He had no answer. He was all mixed up. He said the first thing that popped into his mind. “I don’t actually like big cat documentaries. Or these shoes. I like my converses.”   
  
Renée’s smiled faded. She looked at him, perplexed. What would make him bring that up? “Okay,” she said simply.   
  
“If I’m going to do this,” Harriet said, “we’ll need to be quick.”  
  
Renée and Jonathon looked at each other before turning to the Reverend.   
  
~*~  
  
Still leading the group of photographers away from Jonathon and Renée, Rose walked on holding back tears. She crossed her arms over her chest and hoped that one day she might just get over this rejection, just like she did with Jimmy. But with Jimmy it wasn’t as bad. With Jimmy, a couple of glasses of wine and a corny movie later, she was okay. With Jonathon it felt like the world was pulled out from underneath her and everything hurt. She couldn’t believe it, but she had to face the facts: she fell in love with Jonathon Arbor. After only knowing him for less than a day, she was head over heels in love. She could picture herself growing old with him, seeing them bantering until they were both old and gray. She knew that eventually their bantering would become foreplay, and she wished she knew it for certain. Her heart literally ached with the knowledge that she’ll never know.   
  
When they reached the public toilet (damn it, now this place made her cry!), she saw her mother standing outside of it. When Jackie saw her daughter, she stood up straight silently asking: “Did you tell him how you felt? Does he want it too?” Rose’s eyes, however, told her the answer. Her eyes were glistening as she wordlessly answered the question.   
  
“No.”


	7. Chapter 7

**EIGHT MONTHS LATER**  
  
Renée Poisson was sitting with a TV anchor for the television show  _Gossip Now_. They just finished watching a clip of the next movie Renée was starring in.   
  
“Some powerful stuff,” the anchor said, turning away from the screen and looking into the camera. “And that’s Renée Poisson staring in the movie  _Silence Will Fall_ , coming out next Friday.” She looked back at Renée as she asked, “Now, is it true, these rumors that you’re retiring?”   
  
Renée slightly nodded before saying, “I’ll be honest, last summer I was considering leading a quieter life, but…” Renée looked straight at the anchor and smiled. “Then I met this amazing woman. She was terminally ill, never complained. Well, that’s not true, she complained about everything, but never about her illness.”   
  
Rose Tyler stood in her living room, in the same house she was brought up in, smiling at the television. The rest of the house was all packed up, though, everything she owned either in a suitcase coming with her or being put into storage. She decided to go traveling, and she wasn’t sure when she’ll return. She has asked Wilf to keep an eye on the place, and if anyone wanted it, to sell it. Rose wasn’t planning on returning now that she had nothing to return to.  
  
Rose held the remote up to her mouth and tried to hold back tears as Renée continued on screen. “I heard recently that she passed away. But I was able to help her fulfill her dream of traveling the world.” Renée gave a small smile. “I’m glad I could help her.”   
  
Rose turned off the television and gave a sad smile of her own. “Thank you, Renée.”   
  
Turning around, Rose picked up a few pictures that she had developed. They were of her mother and her, posing in front of different monuments. Thanks to Renée’s help, Rose and Jackie went to Australia, America, Africa, and Hong Kong. She was glad that her mother got her wish in the end. Jackie Tyler was so happy when she closed her eyes for the last time.   
  
She put the photos in her suitcase before zipping the bag up and looking around. Seeing nothing that she needed, Rose walked to the door and took her coat off the hook. Sighing, Rose left.   
  
Her next stop wasn’t the docks, but rather the shop right next door. Rose’s guide book for Burrow actually was a success, and they now had tourists on the island. And the book helped pay for all these trips Rose was going on. Her next guide book was for Hegg, a small island off of Scotland. She’s heard there’s not much too it, but she figured she could go take a look.   
  
The shop no longer belonged to Rose, for she sold it to Wilf. He wanted something to do and running the shop seemed to be the best for him. He was able to talk to the tourists–which he loved–and helped out the locals with whatever they needed.   
  
Even though she didn’t need anything, Rose still went in to check on how things were doing. She passed two young women who were holding a book that Rose unfortunately recognized.   
  
“It’s Jonathon Arbor’s new book,  _New New Earth_!” the one woman said, holding it up for inspection. Rose had seen the book, of course, but never picked it up. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if he wrote another crappy novel. As though the woman could hear Rose’s thoughts, she said, “I’ve heard it's _much_  better than his other novel. And I believe this is a start of a series, actually.” She opened the book up to the acknowledgements. “Oh, how sweet! He dedicated it to Renée!”   
  
Shaking her head, Rose continued on until she reached the counter where Wilf was standing. “Rosie!” he shouted before giving her a hug. “Are you leaving again so soon?” he asked when he saw her suitcases.   
  
She leaned down and awkwardly patted the bags. “Yeah, actually. Guide books don’t write themselves.” She patted Wilf lovingly on the arm. “But I’ll never forget who gave me my first big break!”   
  
Wilf sighed. “I hate that book now. It keeps taking you away!”   
  
Rose laughed. She noticed Joan Redforn and Melody Pond sitting at a table next to the cashier. They had a thin box out on display filled with rocks that had faces painted on them. And yes, some even had hair. Some things never change.   
  
After greeting the women, she turned back to Wilf. “I’ve actually just come in to say ‘hi’ and ‘bye.’ I’m on the next boat out.”   
  
“Hard to hit a moving target, huh Rosie?” Melody asked with a wink. Rose wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, and decided to ignore it.   
  
“I should have known that guide book would take off!” Wilf sighed. “Burrow is not the same without you, Rose. It never was. We miss you.”   
  
“Here, this is for you,” Joan said before handing her a rock from the box. It had blue eyes, a red mouth and was wearing a veil. “It’s a bride! For luck. It’s the last one!”   
  
Rose wanted to cry. A bride. That’s just what she needed, a reason to think of him. Though, if she was honest with herself, he was never far from her mind. He was that voice in her head she couldn’t shut up, though really she didn’t want him to.   
  
“Thank you,” Rose said as she took it.   
  
“That will be a pound fifty,” Joan said, holding out her hand.   
  
'Little parasites,' Rose thought as she dug into her pocketbook for the money.   
  
“Leaving now, Rose?” Melody asked.   
  
“Yeah,” Rose said, handing over the money. “Have to be at the dock in ten minutes.”   
  
“Ah, you’ll be back,” Joan replied. “Your father was a traveler, but your mother was the stay-at-home type.”  
  
Putting the strap of her pocketbook back on her shoulder, Rose said, “No, I don’t think she was really. Not deep down.”   
  
Melody leaned forward. “I think you’re a bit of both.”   
  
Rose just nodded before picking up her suitcase. “Nice to see you all again.” And with that, she turned around and left.   
  
~*~  
  
Rose boarded the ferry out of Burrow. The boat was just leaving the dock when she remembered the rock in her pocket and pulled it out. She stared at it. God, she hated how much a simple rock reminded of Jonathon. Though, every time she saw something exciting or interesting on her trips, she always wondered what Jonathon would say to that. Would he be sarcastic and try to be funny? Or would he be serious and be as interested in it as she was?   
  
She also wondered how his life with Renée was. Was he as happy as he thought he would be? Was he part of that…oh, gosh, how many men was it? Nine thousand, eight hundred? Was he part of that, or was he part of the two hundred that didn’t think Renée was the ideal woman who him?   
  
But she did what she always did when she thought about him. She distracted herself. And the best opportunity now was to throw this stupid rock into the ocean and never think about brides or Jonathon again.   
  
However, that didn’t work out the way she wanted to. Because no sooner had the rock hit the water that she looked up and getting out of a boat on the dock was Jonathon himself. She was pretty far away from him, but she could see that he was wearing a long brown coat and a huge book bag was on his back.   
  
Without thinking, Rose shouted, “Hello!”   
  
Jonathon turned around. His mouth fell open. “Hello!” he answered back. He was wearing black-rimmed glasses. He wore glasses. That made him even more adorable and Rose’s heart literally skipped a beat when she noticed them.   
  
They were getting further and further away from each other, Rose’s boat heading out to sea. Dropping the bag he had on the pier, he walked along the edge of it, trying to stay as close as he could to her.   
  
“Long time no see!” Rose causally said, even though her heart was racing and her hands were sweaty.  
  
“Well,” Jonathon shouted back. “I was hoping that our first meeting to be a bit more casual.”   
  
“What are you doing here?” Hope was rising in Rose’s chest and she tried to beat it down, but it was no use. If he didn’t say for her, what was left of her heart would officially break.   
  
“Well, I’ve been trying to get your attention with conventional weapons, like phones and email. That sort of thing,” he yelled. He was almost at the end of the dock.   
  
“I’ve been away!” How could she keep missing his calls? And his emails?   
  
“Yeah.” And then he pointed out the obvious. “And you’re leaving again!” He yelled louder, “Did you read my book?”   
  
Feeling guilty, Rose shook her head. “No. No, I didn’t.”   
  
“Oh,” Jonathon said, disappointed. “You really should have read it.”  
  
Wanting to tease him again, Rose shouted, “The Burrow Book Club gave it seven out of ten stars!”   
  
“Seven out of ten? That’s pretty generous from the Burrow Book Club!”   
  
“They said it picked up after page six!”   
  
“Did you look at the dedication?!” Jonathon yelled when he reached the end. One more step and he’d fall into the water. But he had to know. He really, really had to know. He gave this dedication so much thought, trying to figure out the perfect way to say everything and nothing at the same time. He spent weeks agonizing over it, and she didn’t even  _read_  it?!   
  
“It’s dedicated to Renée!” Rose shouted, wondering why he wanted her to know that. Why would she care that he dedicated to Renée? Why would she read that and be reminded that he left her for another woman?   
  
“No!” Jonathon shouted. “No, it’s not!” He groaned in frustration.   
  
Rose was too far away from him. He didn’t even know if she heard him. He ran back to the boat he got out of and asked the captain if they had a radio.   
Meanwhile on Rose’s boat she was thinking over what he just said. It’s not dedicated to Renée? But the woman in the bookshop said it was. A tourist on the boat pulled the book out of her bag. She opened it to the acknowledgements page and handed it to Rose.   
  
It said:   
  
 _To my wife.  
  
I’m taking your advice. I’m writing what I like.   
  
Also, a chapter can be a book._  
  
Rose’s heart was pounding like never before. She said that. She said that to him when she saw him for the last time.  _'I know. This is where you tell me that I’m a chapter and not the whole book.'_  She said that, those exact words. Rose started laughing. Laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes.   
  
The captain, a man named Jack Harkness, turned towards Rose. “I just got a message from a Jonathon Arbor from the other boat. He said he never married Renée. They only let the press think that. He said the only woman he ever married was you.”   
  
“He’s not married?” Rose asked, the smile on her face becoming huge. She hasn’t been this happy in so long, it felt nice. More than nice, it felt fantastic!   
  
“I don’t think so,” Jack said with a smile of his own. “Do we want me to turn this around?”   
  
Rose looked at Jack before glancing back at Jonathon who was standing at the edge of the dock, waiting.   
  
Rose turned back to Jack. She’s waited so long to stand close to Jonathon again. She couldn’t wait any longer. “Would you mind?”   
  
With a wink, Jack ran back to the front of the small boat and turned it around. Jonathon, seeing this, ran towards where they were headed to meet Rose the second she stepped foot on the dock.   
  
He held out his hand to help her out; she grabbed her suitcase and took his hand with a smile. It felt wonderful to stand close to him again. When she got herself settled on the prier, she took in his outfit. Considering the last thing she saw him in was pajamas, a suit made him look…well, amazing. He wore a brown pinstriped suit with a blue oxford underneath and a blue and brown tie with swirls on it. On his feet were off-white converses. Rose absolutely loved the look. Though, she bet he looked the best with no clothes on at all.   
  
Jonathon looked down at her. He must have taken off his glasses at some point, because now she could clearly see his brown eyes without the lens. She was somewhat disappointed. She liked him in the glasses.   
  
“Hi,” he said when she was settled. She let go of her suitcase and it was then that she realized she just stole that poor woman’s book. Oops.   
  
“Hello,” she smiled at him. After a moment though, she had to ask, “You’re not married?”  
  
He shook his head. “No. We…we never went through with the ceremony.”   
  
“What happened?”   
  
Jonathon gave a small smile as he said, “We agreed we weren’t meant for each other. We just tricked the press because we wanted to see their faces that they never got the picture of Renée in her gown.”   
  
Rose gave a nod, slowly absorbing what he told her. He wasn’t married. Jonathon Arbor was not married to Renée Poisson. They never actually got married. Rose kept repeating that mantra in her head for a while.   
  
After a moment, Jonathon proudly announced “By the way, I read your excellent guide book.”  
  
“Oh, really?” Rose looked down, blushing. “How embarrassing.”   
  
“I can’t believe you didn’t read my book,” Jonathon admitted, a bit hurt.   
  
Rose couldn’t look him in the eye. “I couldn’t bring myself to.”   
  
“Well, I hope you do, someday.” He said, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “Because there’s a character in there…kind of reminds me of you.”   
  
“What her name?”   
  
“Lily.”  
  
Rose smirked and said sarcastically, “Wow, a flower. How imaginative.” He gave her a huge smirk as she asked, “What is it about?”   
  
“Time travel,” he said with a huge grin. “Couldn’t help myself. You actually gave me inspiration.”   
  
“I did?” With his nod, she asked, “When?”   
  
“When we were locked in that room together. You pulled out the two DVDs, remember?”   
  
“Oh, yeah. It was a hospital drama and a…oh, what was it? Oh yes, a documentary about cats!”   
  
“And you said something about having a nightmare about cats being nurses or something. And…it inspired me.”   
  
“You’re kidding,” Rose asked, amazed that something she said in passing gave him inspiration for a book.  
  
“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p.’ He grinned. “It’s about a time traveling professor and his lovely assistant, Lily.”   
  
“Assistant?” Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
“Companion?”   
  
“Better. Tell me more.”   
  
“Well, they go on all these adventures together. I’m thinking of more I could write. But one of the main plot points is that the professor…well, he’s scared of being close to his assist…I mean, his companion, but when he almost loses her…Well, he decides what’s the point of being in love if you can’t take a risk?”  
  
Rose was about to comment about how this relationship can’t be soulless like other works she could mention, when what he said caught up with her.   
  
“In love?” she squeaked.   
  
Jonathon moved closer. Their chests were practically touching. “Oh yes,” he said seriously. “The professor falls head over heels in love with his companion.”   
  
“Really?” Rose asked, putting her hands on his upper arms. Her one hand still held the book. “And how does she feel about him?”   
  
He encircled his hands around her hips. “Well, he thinks she loves him too, but he’s not too sure.”   
  
“Oh?” Rose asked, looking at his lips. She couldn’t believe they were still talking when his mouth could be used for…enjoyment elsewhere. “I think she does.”   
  
He smirked, leaning down. “Yeah?”   
  
“Oh yeah,” she whispered against his mouth.   
  
And finally, even though they were at one point married, they kissed. And it was completely worth waiting for. His lips moved against hers so wonderfully Rose was happy that he was holding her, because she was sure that her knees would go any second.   
  
He pulled her even tighter, made the kiss even deeper, and either one of them or both of them moaned. Neither cared.   
  
Finally, when air was becoming necessary, they pulled away. Leaning their foreheads against each other, Jonathon took a deep gulp of air before asking, “Do you want me to sign that?” nodding towards the book in her hand.   
  
She lightly swatted him on the arm, as she kissed him again.   
  
The book fell out of her hand as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Neither of them noticed nor cared.   
  
 **Epilogue**  
  
 **ONE YEAR AFTER THAT**  
  
Jonathon stepped out of the house and took a deep breath. It was a beautiful morning on Burrow. Which meant that in twenty minutes it was going to pour rain, but for now he could enjoy the sunshine.   
  
He thought about the first time he arrived on this island and realized that that was when his whole life changed. He smiled just thinking about it. Thinking about his adventure with Rose made him giggle with glee, mainly because she was now his wife for real.   
  
Rose and he actually got married two weeks ago on the beach not far from their house. Reverend Jones did the ceremony. She was giving them a look that screamed ‘I knew it!’ which they both ignored. Plenty of people claimed they saw it coming, but that didn’t matter to Mr and Mrs Jonathon Arbor. Well, Arbor-Tyler. Rose liked her name and since she was becoming a successful author, she needed to keep it almost the same.   
  
Rose has written by this point three different guide books, ranging from Hegg (she was a day behind on that research trip, but she wasn’t sorry. Though she tried to cover up all the hickeys that Jonathon gave her before she walked around the island) to Miami, Florida (Jonathon went with her on that trip. He loved Florida, mainly because Rose wore a bikini top for most of the trip) to Iceland (Jonathon also accompanied Rose on that trip). Rose wasn’t scheduled for another trip for another two weeks, and they were basking in the glory of a well deserved rest.   
  
Jonathon’s books were quite literally flying off the shelves. His Red Box series told the adventures of a professor who could travel to any point in history and even into the future. His first book, New New Earth sold seven million copies. The second book, 'Faceless', did just as well. He was holding out hope for the next one entitled 'Monsters in the Faculty Room'. Rose helped with the ideas. When he couldn’t think of something, she would tell him not to stress and that an idea would eventually pop into his head. More often than not, it was something she said in passing that would give him an idea that he had to write down immediately.   
  
He folded his arms when he felt someone come up behind him and wrap their arms around him. He grinned as he looked over his shoulder. “Good morning, sleepy-head.” She groaned into his shoulder. Rose was not a morning person. “Did you sleep well?”   
  
“I would have slept better if someone didn’t keep stealing the covers,” Rose mumbled.   
  
“I do not steal the covers,” Jonathon reported. “I simply hold them for ransom.”   
  
“You know,” Rose said as Jonathon turned around in her arms and wrapped his arms around her. “Sometimes I really do hate you.”   
  
“Nah,” Jonathon said, not a bit bothered by what she said. They still bantered and argued, but for them it was like foreplay (Rose was right when she thought that, so long ago). Bantering with Jonathon was her favorite hobby, so she did it all the time. He too had to admit that he loved it. “I don’t think you do. When we first met, I think that’s when you hated me.”   
  
Rose put her cheek against his chest. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I did hate you while we stuck in that room.”   
  
“Not that I could blame you. I was a twat.”   
  
“Yes, yes you were,” Rose agreed. Before Jonathon could comment that she didn’t necessarily have to agree with that, Rose leaned back. “Oh, I forgot to show you what I picked up in Wilf’s shop last night.” Taking him by the hand, Rose led him into their living room. Though it was technically the same room that they sat in a long time ago, the room where they talked about her ex-fiancé for the first time and when she placed the spoon on her nose, the room was very much different. They gave it a new paint coat and used the furniture that Jonathon had from his place. The pictures on the walls showed both Jonathon’s family as well as Rose’s, but also had loads of pictures from their trips. The sun shining in made the whole room feel ten times brighter.   
Rose walked over to her purse that she dropped on the couch and opened it up. She pulled out a magazine. “Wilf told me that it just came in when I got there. I snagged this because…well, because I thought you would get a kick out of it.”   
  
Jonathon took the magazine and froze. On the cover was Renée. She looked exactly the same, but he found that he didn’t have the same reaction he had in the past. Though she looked beautiful, Jonathon found that there was another blonde who could make his heart race simply by wearing his shirts and no make-up.   
  
However, it wasn’t just Renée that Rose was showing him. It was the headline. ‘Poisson’s new love interest?’ Before Jonathon had asked Rose to marry him, he told Renée that they should announce their “divorce,” so that no fan would think badly of them. She quickly agreed, knowing it would be for the best. And the public seemed disappointed, while the paparazzi went crazy. Perhaps they thought they could follow her around again, with that burning question of who Renée was currently seeing.   
  
This one, however, made him laugh. Because it wasn’t some celebrity that would make sense, nor was it an up-and-coming writer. On the cover, a shot that was apparently unexpected if their faces are anything to go by, were Renée Poisson and Harry Saxon.   
  
“Wow,” he said, giving a laugh. “Renée and Saxon. Have to say, I didn’t see that coming.”   
  
He flopped down on the couch and settled into the corner, leaving Rose enough space to cuddle up next to him, which she immediately did. He opened up the magazine and started reading the article, both of them laughing about how ridiculous it was.   
  
The End.


End file.
